The question “Is God male?” has come up because of statements made by a senate candidate in Texas who stated that God is non-binary, meaning God’s identity exists beyond the limits of the traditional binary (male/female) category.

This column is called Faith Conversations, so let’s talk about it.

Two items should concern us whenever we hear people make assumptive statements about God:

First, the book of Job teaches us that defining God and explaining God’s actions is way above our pay grade. When immense tragedy strikes Job, his friends gather to comfort him, and for seven days they sit in the ashes with him and never say a word. Their presence must have been a precious comfort to Job.

When they break their silence, everything they say is wrong. Their conclusions are based on assumptions regarding God’s character and justice. Most of the book of Job is a record of the arrogance of Job’s three “friends,” thinking they know exactly who God is and why the Almighty does what the Almighty does.

In Job 38:2, God sums up their wearisome bloviating as words without knowledge.

God reminds us of our humble and lowly position in these two passages:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them? For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen. Romans 11:33-36

Second, God reveals himself to us, and being God, he has the right to do that as he sees fit. Yes, I used male pronouns in that sentence because that is how God reveals Himself to us. There are many Old and New Testament examples of God revealing himself as “Father.” Most notably, Jesus, God’s son, taught us to pray to our Father who art in heaven. (See Matthew 6:9) To suggest that God does not present himself to us as male would be to go against God’s revelation of himself.

Am I saying that God is male? No. What I am saying is that God presents himself to us, in our limited human context, as male. He does so, not to define or limit himself, but to help us understand the nature of his relationship with us. He is our Father; we are his children.

That being understood, both Adam and Eve were created in the image of God:

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

Clearly, God’s image is beautifully reflected in both genders, but that doesn’t mean he is one or the other or both or neither. His image cannot be understood within the limitations of our human experience, and we are silly to assume we can contain him in our cleverly designed and extremely wordy statements. Yes, when we seek to define God, as Job’s friends do, we get very wordy.

Wordiness tends to expose arrogance. Consider Proverbs 10:19, When there are many words, wrongdoing is unavoidable, but one who restrains his lips is wise. Job’s friends were terribly wordy, and it exposed their assumptive arrogance.

Instead of answering the question, “Is God male?”, it may be more important to understand why this question is important to so many people.

After 40 years of pastoral experience, my guess is that some people struggle terribly with masculinity and fatherhood. I was blessed to have an amazing father who loved me unconditionally, provided for my needs, protected me from harm, encouraged the full development of my character, challenged me to develop my potential, disciplined me carefully and faithfully, and never hesitated to tell me how much he loved me and how proud he was of me. In doing so, my father helped me to understand the character of my masculine Father in heaven.

I wish everyone had the same life experience. They do not. Some people were abandoned by their fathers. Others were neglected, abused, and even exploited by their fathers. Their view of masculinity and fatherhood is vastly different than mine. They struggle to relate to God as their Father or to see him as male. My heart breaks for them.

This is why I wrote last week’s article. We believers, must be more interested in building relationships than we are in winning debates. When someone asks you, “Is God male?” instead of being offended or putting up knuckles to defend a position, simply seek to learn why that question is important to them. It is possible God sent them your way to receive the grace of love and patience, and understanding. Maybe they need to experience healthy masculinity and fatherhood — and maybe you’re the guy to do it.

As we celebrate Father’s Day, remember that fatherhood isn’t always blood and biology. Sometimes it’s fulfilled by a man who becomes a father to the fatherless. By the way, that’s exactly how God describes himself in Psalm 68:4-6,

Sing to God, sing in praise of his name, extol him who rides on the clouds; rejoice before him—his name is the Lord. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.