My apologies for missing last week’s paper. Early deadlines and I don’t do well. I am trying. I needed to have my copy in a few days prior. I totally left my lovely editor’s replacement hanging. I can’t tell you the number of folks who noticed my absence. At least ten reached out on Tuesday. Not kidding. Six of them were Amish. Thanks, guys. You guys make me blush. I can totally fib and tell a bogus lie. But it will likely happen again. Sorry Steph.

Congrats to all you teachers who survived. School is out for the summer. Thank heavens, guys. Those in education don’t get enough praise. Yes. They do well, but it is such a tough gig. You try it, Tim. I am so proud of my bride. She doesn’t like the spotlight- so I refrain from using her name. Teach is fantastic, and she is great with her kids. The other night we snuck down to Sock to watch a coach’s pitch game. Her students were absolutely thrilled to see her in the stands. They were so happy. It was grand. Bravo. Did the stubborn gal from Muncy finally sign on the dotted line?

I was recently asked to tee it up in a few tournaments. I used to love golf, but now it is totally different. Yes. I still coach the team at Lycoming College — 21 years and counting. My youngsters keep me in the loop, but I don’t play much. No worries. My good friend BK is a beauty. BK and I attended school together, and he is outstanding. BK invites me to golf in the WCC Member-Guest every June. My shirt is always tucked. Great memories. We were once contenders. I used to be good. Take a look at my scrapbook. Now I spend my time shaking hands and kissing babies. The atmosphere and format are super fun. Our lovely brides join us for a special evening. The golf course is always in exceptional condition.

BK and I snuck our way into the Championship Flight. What? Dude? How am I a 6 handicap? I am a beached whale — way past my prime. Have you seen me lately? My window closed. I am thinking the WCC folks are out to get even. Several years ago, I was listed as a 10. We play five 9-hole matches. The goal is to win as many points as you can. I was golfing OK. Nothing crazy. Doing my best. I was hanging in there. But in the final round, I figured it out completely. A lightbulb switched. It was incredible. I couldn’t do wrong. I was on fire. I circled 4 birdies and posted a smooth 33 on the front 9. BK and I smacked our opponents. We crushed their chances. Go repair an ankle. They were so mad. Rumors quickly spread. I inherited a new name. The Bagger Spence. Oh. I still hear about it.

OK. I was just asked to come to the staging area. Here goes nothing. I just hope I don’t hit a car on Country Club Drive. This one is for all of the Little Leaguers who still have a dream. Recap next week? Only if the winners pay me. Cheers.