Latest Issue

Let’s Call it 2024

Happy New Year! Three easy words to say — let’s hope and pray they ring true for 2024. I wish everyone a healthy, happy, and prosperous New Year.

The year 2024. I have trouble wrapping my thoughts around that, even though I’ve been blessed to live my way there for over half a century. It just sounds like a futuristic novel or movie that would have been read or watched during my lifetime.

Unfortunately, most of the subject topics in these movies or books were not good unless science fiction is your cup of tea. I’m sure you can think of a list involving war, pandemics, natural disasters, and alien life forms creating some type of havoc. The result is usually an apocalyptic ending.

Now, here’s the really scary thing: in the last few years, we’ve witnessed some of those subject topics actually occur in the world we live in. Many stories viewed on the evening news would have made great Sci-Fi material back in the 70s, 80s, and even 90s.

Just think about the Chinese spy balloons that basically navigated across our country. If you remember, there were even reports of them being extraterrestrial. I still don’t think we have been told the true story about what was going on or what national security threats were breached.

I will give you the disclaimer ahead of time: the following is not true and just a few thoughts of mine; I don’t want anybody hitting the social media button and reporting these as fact.

If you took the Chinese spy balloon story, add in that it was shot down and fell into the hands of aliens, who, while recovering it, abducted a Bigfoot for biological study. When the Bigfoot was returned to Earth, it was infected with a pandemic-causing virus which, through contact in nature with bats and other creatures, was eventually spread to man and created a global pandemic.

The pandemic created from the alien’s interaction with Bigfoot and creatures of Mother Nature then was blamed by the most powerful nations in the world an act of international espionage first involving China. This all led to an economic collapse of the world economy, which created a world war that extended out of our galaxy to the aliens that were actually found to have been plotting our demise.

The horrific outcome within the domino effect thriller actually has a happy ending. The nations around the world rally together after Will Smith — who joins the military after his cinematic career dies, finally finds a way to destroy the alien attack colonies’ space craft. This information is shared around the world by Morse Code, and Earth is saved for humanity.

The aliens’ leader, who is actually Bernie Sanders, requests it be written into American history that the event helped create worldwide unity by destroying all the satellites and towers that provide cell phone service. Thus, eliminating the greatest source of communication that creates division.

Pretty scary stuff, and doesn’t my fictional story fit those Hollywood movie scenarios like a glove? Which have become much more believable each evening when presented by David Muir. All I need now is a title for this. Wait, I got it: 2024.

I guess I should seriously return to the future, which is actually the present. 2024 is going to be the most important and interesting time in American history. I will begin sharing my thoughts in the near future. I am sure many of you wonder why President Biden didn’t have a part in my above-mentioned sci-fi script. Simple, there is just nothing I find humorous about the Biden administration.

In closing things out for 2023, a heartfelt thank you to everyone for their generosity in filling the Red Kettle in the front of my office. I wish I could give a hug and shake everyone’s hand who helped carry on the work of Dave Sechler in the best way possible.

Through your efforts, we, together, will help The Salvation Army Williamsport provide a helping hand in a variety of ways to so many local folks who need it. As I am penning this column, I am proud and humbled to say together, we have raised $16,173. Truly amazing!

I also want to give a special shoutout of appreciation to a gentleman who made a very generous donation in the Kettle and then provided the office with a Bluetooth stereo and all the Christmas music needed to brighten up the office. Thank you for doubling up on your gifting, Sir.

Let’s all be careful out there and get 2024 off to a good start.

God Bless America.

Jim Webb