The holidays are usually a time of togetherness among friends and family. However, this is not the case for everyone. For some, this could be the first Christmas without a child or the first New Year’s Eve without a spouse. No matter the situation or cause, many people find themselves sensing loneliness therefore it’s important to know a few ways to cope and find new joy this season.
Prioritize Yourself
What are some hobbies or activities that you truly enjoy? Reading a new book, relaxing with spa treatments (at a day spa or at home), taking a trip to a destination that you have always wanted to visit, or learning a new skill are just a few ideas. Being kind to yourself helps to enhance your self-esteem and gives you a way to focus on wellness rather than feeling alone.
Self-care can also be the stereotypical thought of improving your wellness through eating a healthy diet and exercising. Nutritious foods physically make your body feel energized and can help boost your mood. The same goes for physical activity — endorphins, adrenaline, and dopamine are just a few feel-good chemicals that are produced from actively moving. There are several group exercise classes offered in the area that can also give you the opportunity to meet and connect with new people.
Reset Focus
Society places high expectations of individuals during this time of year. Holiday activities such as exchanging gifts, sharing meals, engaging in get-togethers, may amplify those feelings associated with the loss of a loved one. Concentrating on what you do have instead of what you do not is a helpful antidote for feelings of loneliness.
Practicing gratitude helps shift your focus to the love from friends, family, pets, and neighbors that you may be receiving. This also helps to shed light on the things you may value like your health, hobbies, relationships, work, and your future potential. An easy way to begin is to start a gratitude journal. Take five or ten minutes out of your day to list the things you are grateful for in that moment of time. Once you have done this for a while, you can take a look back at your record of all the little or big things that have brought you joy.
Know That You’re Not Alone
Loneliness can be felt on a spectrum. You can literally be standing in a room alone or you can be in a room full of loved ones and still feel isolated. No matter how this feeling shows in your life, it can take a toll on your mental health. There are opportunities to connect with others in ways that you might not have thought of before. Technology is a great way to help combat both sides. With the help of video conferencing, you can still take part in long-distance family traditions like dinners or opening presents together. On the other hand, there are several online communities waiting to meet new members offering connections that you might not currently have.
Make an effort to connect with people. While it may be uncomfortable at first, you might have to make the first move when it comes to making plans with others. You can start with initiating conversations slowly by simply saying hello to your neighbors or co-workers at the office, reaching out to an old friend on the phone, or taking the time to write meaningful Christmas cards. These initiatives can turn into returned efforts in conversations and invitations.
If your feelings of loneliness are more severe or are exacerbating current symptoms of a previously diagnosed mental illness, do not hesitate to reach out to your doctor or a therapist. There are options that can work for you and ways to help plan for holiday stress.
Jackie Zielewicz, LCSW, is with UPMC Behavioral Health and sees patients at UPMC Williamsport Divine Providence Campus, 1100 Grampian Blvd, Williamsport. To schedule an appointment with Jackie, call 570-320-7525. For more information, visit UPMC.com/BehavioralHealthNCPA.
Confronting Loneliness This Holiday Season
Jackie Zielewicz, LCSW
Behavioral Health, UPMC
