There’s never a good time for this to happen.

You should be enjoying the season. Spending time with your family. Laughing, planning, thinking about the future. Instead, the thing you feared most has come to pass, and these books on grief and loss might help…

At a time like this, when the death of a loved one seems imminent, “How to Say Goodbye” by Wendy MacNaughton (Bloomsbury, $19.99) will help you find the right words and actions to bring to the table. Meant for caregivers and those sitting vigil, this book is spare on words but big on meaning; though it’ll take ten minutes to read the first time, it’s a book you’ll want to keep around to read again.

Before illness, before hospital or hospice, the life you had together with your loved one was filled with joy. In “Tell Me Good Things: On Love, Death, and Marriage” by James Runcie (Bloomsbury, $27.00), you’ll read about a love story that ended too soon.

For thirty-five years, Runcie and his beloved Marilyn enjoyed a wonderful marriage, travel, friends, and family. After Lou Gehrig’s disease took Marilyn’s life, Runcie struggled to make sense of the future he’d have, missing his wife. With emotion and keen insight, Runcie writes of Marilyn’s vibrant life, her disease and her death, and what it was like to adjust to that first year alone. Readers who find themselves in the same situation can find comfort in this book, no matter where they are in their own journey.

Another memoir of loss and grief is “So Sorry for Your Loss: How I Learned to Live with Grief, and Other Grave Concerns” by Dina Gachman (Union Square & Co., $17.99). It’s about another side of loss – that of a mother and a sibling in a very short time – and how it’s possible to survive multiple heartbreaks of this sort. Gachman includes personal tales, as well as expert advice; if you’ve lost and lost again, this may be your book.

But what if the grief is for your own life? In “How Not to Kill Yourself: A Portrait of a the Suicidal Mind” (Pantheon, $30.00), author Clancy Martin writes about what it’s like to be focused on leaving by your own hand: ten times, he tried to die and when his attempts were aborted or failed, he stepped back into his life and no one was the wiser.

Here, Martin writes about his struggles as he explains how a person might come to decide to end their own life. Thankfully, readers will find hope here in the midst of despair, and the loud message that you are not ever entirely alone.

If these books don’t help soothe the pain of your loss and you need more insight or succor, be sure to ask your local bookseller or librarian for help. They’ll find the books you need to ease your burden and give direction for your journey. There’s never a good time to have to think of these things – but these books could help.

Books on Grief and Loss by various authors
c.2023, various publishers
$17.99 – $30.00
various page counts