I had every intention of running in the general election, but my family accused me of not taking my medications. I also couldn’t afford the costs that were associated with a campaign. Perhaps one day. I entertained the idea of a write-in, and maybe I could even speak at one of the forums or debates like some others. I never shy away from an opportunity to work a crowd, and my platforms were quickly gaining momentum. Unfortunately, this only applied to certain candidates, and I was forced to remove my name from consideration. My political career is now in shambles. I guess I should get back to selling rocks and coaching.

My friend Joe Clark was named the Head Boys Basketball Coach at St. John Neumann Regional Academy earlier this summer. The long time assistant was a key member of the 1972 Knights’ State Championship Team. Coach Clark is a good dude, and I have known him for a long time. His oldest son Jeroud and I played together at Williamsport High. Joe gave me a call and asked if I’d be interested in helping. We had a great conversation, and I am excited to be back on the sidelines after a three-year hiatus.

The players, Coach Clark, and I have been in the gym a few nights each week for the past five months. The 2019-20 season doesn’t officially start until November 18th, and these workouts are called Open Gyms. I have enjoyed this opportunity to get to know the boys and help them with the fundamentals. OGs are very casual and there are plenty of conversations. It’s been a lot of fun, and I plan on using this column to tell you more.

Coach Clark introduced me to the guys on the first night. I already knew some, but most were totally new acquaintances. Joe gave them a quick rundown of my coaching resume. He mentioned I was the former Head Boys Coach at Montoursville and Montgomery. I even had a stint with Lycoming College. He listed a few of my big time wins and achievements, but the players weren’t impressed. Later that evening, I was shooting foul shots with a youngster and he asked me a simple question.

DID YOU PLAY BALL IN COLLEGE COACH?

I spent the next ten minutes explaining. I wanted to earn respect and maybe I stretched. I told him that I walked on at Roanoke College. I mostly rode the bench but we had a JV team. That’s true. The Maroons played several Universities and a number of big time Prep Schools. I stepped foot on the historic Dean Dome at UNC and mixed it up with many future NBA standouts. The conversation continued but there was now a small crowd around our basket. I showed them an old action photo that I had on Instagram.

I LOVE UNC. WHO’D YOU PLAY AGAINST? HOW MANY POINTS DID YOU SCORE? I HAD NO IDEA COACH. THAT’S AWESOME YO.

I told them that I would bring in some old programs and box scores. I felt good and important. I pictured my new players running the hallways and bragging. But then it hit me. What if these guys actually do some research on the web? I had to think of something fast.

HI KERI. MY NAME IS JAMIE SPENCER FROM THE WEBB WEEKLY. HUGE FAN OF THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA TARHEELS. WE ARE A LOCAL MAILER IN NORTH CENTRAL PENNSYLVANIA. WE’RE ACTUALLY A BIG DEAL.

Glad to hear that Mr. Spencer. What can I help you with?

WELL, I PLAYED BASKETBALL FOR ROANOKE COLLEGE, AND WE HAD TWO EXHIBITIONS AGAINST YOUR JUNIOR VARSITY TEAM. I ALREADY SPOKE WITH SOMEONE IN SPORTS INFORMATION AND THEY DID NOT HAVE ANY BOX SCORES. DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY RECORDS?

Hmm. I will gladly take a look. You said this was an exhibition? You didn’t find it online in our archives? I’m pretty sure we have every game listed.

YES. YOU DO. BUT I AM LOOKING FOR THE JV BOXES FROM JANUARY 14, 1996 AND FEBRUARY 10, 1997. ROANOKE COLLEGE VS UNC JV. EXHIBITION GAMES. NO MEDIA.

Oh JV. (Chuckles) Let me check. (Long pause) OK. Here’s something. We have the roster and the schedules. But no box scores. I so sorry Mr. Spencer these records don’t exist.

NO WORRIES KERI. THANKS. THATS ACTUALLY WHAT I HOPED FOR. NOW I CAN TELL MY GUYS THAT I HAD A TRIPLE DOUBLE. CHEERS.