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Sporting Matters with Spence… His Name is Elfie

Tis the season folks and instead of sharing a story on sports — I’ve decided to chime in on something much more important. Yes. It’s time to talk about the Elf of the Shelf. For those of you without young children perhaps this article will help explain that creepy little thing that has been flooding your social media page.

My eight-year-old son still believes, but I fear this might be the last year for Santa and his Elfie. Jensen is asking more and more questions, and I am running out of answers. HEY DAD. WHY DO THEY SELL THEM FOR $24.95?

So where did all of this madness come from? Legend suggests that the elves are residents of the North Pole, but that is definitely not the case boys and girls. They don’t live in Greenland or the Northwest Territories either. Most of the Elves are actually made in China. It’s true. Read the fine print on the packaging.

The Elves became a global phenomenon in a silly children’s picture book “The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition” published in 2005. Carol Aebersold and her daughter Chanda Bell co-authored their epic poem and turned them into multimillionaires. Their story was rather simple, but a most entertaining read. I am a huge fan of dope lyrics, rhythms, and rhymes.

Here is my quick synopsis. A little elf was sent from the Nunavut (The North Pole) to watch over some unruly children. He served as a scout and reported directly to Santa to tell him about the youngsters’ behavior. The elf would return that same evening and would take up a new position in the child’s dwelling. By hiding in a new spot each morning, the scout elf plays an ongoing game of hide and seek with the entire family. Yes. The elf is technically a Russian spy, but he had nothing to do with collusion or fixing the presidential election.

“There’s only one rule that you have to follow, so I will come back and be here tomorrow: Please do not touch me. My magic might go, and Santa won’t hear all I’ve seen, or I know.” #elfontheshelf.

Scout elves get their magic by being named and loved. Oh, it also helps if you believe too. This Christmas magic allows the elf to fly to and from the North Pole, but never touch an elf for they will lose their powers. Trust me. It happened to ours. Please keep them out of the sun and try not to get them wet. And no matter how much an elf begs or cries — never feed them after midnight. Relax. It’s from another movie.

Humans are actually responsible for all of the bedlam and mischief behind the scenes. HIDE AND GO SEEK got boring, and now it’s controlled chaos. OK, I admit I enjoy seeing all the pictures and and posts about the elves who get into trouble. My friends are so dang creative. My personal favorites tend to include other action figures, and I have one pal who always uses a Barbie. I would explain in more detail, but this is a family newspaper.

In the past decade, the Elf on the Shelf has collected numerous awards and achievements. It won the Learning Express’ Best Toy Award in 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011. The elf on made its first appearance in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in 2012. It has been included every year since. In 2013, The Elf on the Shelf hit the #1 spot on the USA Today Bestsellers List.

The elves are alive and still trending in 2017. It’s one of my favorite holiday traditions. Keep posting parents and I hoping Jensen will hang in there for one more year. Cheers.

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