Latest Issue

Santa’s Midnight Run

I’m not a shopper. Every holiday season I wait until the last minute and then hit the stores looking for that special gift to make Christmas morning memorable. It was much easier when Jimmy and Hunter were younger, but as they get older it becomes more difficult and expensive to find that present with a real ‘wow’ factor. One thing is for sure, this is a job better left to Santa.

This got me thinking about what’s on Santa’s sleigh this year. Not for my gang, but for others. As my mind wandered in thought, I drifted off into a fine winter’s nap. I guess I should have skipped those last couple of pizzelles and eggnog as they triggered a dream about Santa’s travels on Christmas Eve. I’ll share with you…

His first stop was the White House, all decked out in holiday cheer. The Secret Service escorted the jolly fellow to President Obama’s long red stocking. What did Santa have for the creator of the Affordable Care Act? Just a letter. It was written on beautiful North Pole designed letterhead and read:

“Your present has been held in escrow to a future date,
until I figure out my healthcare fate.
My elves will be affected you know,
they are often working in the white fallen snow.
I can see you when you’re sleeping,
I know when you’re awake,
but I can’t figure out what all the mumbo jumbo means,
for goodness sake!
I am sad you may have lied and told some fibs,
what a bad example this would be for the kids.
Until I know all the facts for sure,
I will hold on to this year’s present,
please don’t start another war.”

Signed, Mr. Kristopher Kringle, Citizen of the North Pole.

Santa left presents for the Secret Service and the first family and was then escorted back to his sleigh. He flew across our beautiful country to California and Miley Cyrus’s home.

He landed on the roof and made such a clatter, if Billy Ray had been home he would have went for a ladder.

I thought there would be coal in her stocking, but Santa left another well-penned letter and a Hannah Montana t-shirt. The letter read:

“You have been naughty this year, without a doubt,
if you were my daughter I surely would shout.
Disney stars seem to find so much trouble,
so please change your ways before you burst your Hollywood bubble.
Your actions are not acceptable and need to stop,
I hope the Hannah Montana t-shirt reminds you of when you were on top.
Not on top of the charts with fists full of money,
but when you had some morals and kids thought you were funny.”

Signed, an Appalled Mr. Claus.

Santa hopped in his sleigh and headed back east to our area. Next stop was the head honcho at Little League, Steve Keener. I know – from Miley to Mr. Keener – I really have to stay off the eggnog.

It was a very quick stop. He kept his sleigh running. What I mean is that the deer took a break and ran down to the Susquehanna and got a quick drink.

Mr. Keener received a present – a small satchel marked “Sparkle” and a nice letter decorated in elves wearing baseball uniforms. The letter said:

“For all that you do, the world says thanks.
Kids from all over the world, sliding down banks.
The elves love baseball, they wish they had a team,
but with six feet of snow, it’s only a dream.
To prevent delays, a great gift for you,
a few flakes of sparkle and you can play two.
It will dry the field and keep you sane,
there is nothing worse than rescheduling games.”

Your Friend, S Claus.

Now I know how they get those fields looking so good after one of those summer thunderstorms and here I thought it was the hard work of the grounds crew. Great gift Santa!

The big fellow jumped in his magic chariot. His last stop while I was taking my siesta was not far from our Webb Weekly office. It was at the house of legendary lefthander Bill Byham.

Down the chimney he went and on the kitchen counter he left a small bottle wrapped in a bow and of course a nice letter on Santa Stationary. It read:

“This is some water for you and Nell.
Drink a little bit and you will grow well.
For your love of sports and your fellow man,
keep on writing and enjoy the Floridian sand.”

Autographed, One Lefthander to Another – St. Nick.

I didn’t know Santa was a lefty.

Santa left the Byhams and I awoke. Was this just a dream or a holiday joke?

All of us here at Webb Weekly wish you a Merry Christmas. May God bless you and yours with a joyous and healthy holiday season. Enjoy the family, food and fun in the spirit of Christmas.

Take the time to go visit the older members of your family that may not be able to come visit you.

There is great work done at all the facilities for the aging and those in need of a helping hand. Take some time to visit that relative, friend or neighbor that may be confined to those walls. On the way in and out wish everyone a happy holiday! If you have some extra time, strike up a conversation with someone who may not be fortunate enough to have holiday visitors. This is a special gift you can give and it will be appreciated.

Remember our service men and women stationed around the world, on watch and protecting our yuletide freedom.

Most of all, remember and share the reason for the season. Give thanks to God for our savior is Lord Jesus Christ – through him, all good is possible,
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

Jim Webb

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *