Since we were so serious last week, let’s lighten things up a bit this week, shall we? The world is in chaos. Everything is on fire, and nothing makes much sense. While this would normally be as good an excuse as any to eat whatever junk makes the dopamine flow, that’s not a great idea for the long-term, ya know?

I eat a lot of salad — probably an inordinate amount. And for a long time, I was confused about why so many people don’t like salad.

Then I realized what the issue is.

Y’all are out here making really bad salads. Iceberg lettuce, some dry carrots, and crusty croutons that you drown in ranch dressing and call it a day.

Do better, y’all.

So let’s talk about the salads I make when I say I’m eating a salad.

It all starts with the lettuce. I skip iceberg and go for a nice mix. Try some romaine, butter lettuce, Aldi’s red and green artisan blend, spinach, or spring mix. Pick a couple, or use a little of each.

Now we chop. I can’t stress this enough. Cut your salad ingredients into bite-sized pieces. Why are you trying to shovel an entire head of lettuce into your mouth? Bite-sized pieces, people.

Now throw your properly chopped lettuce into a big a** bowl.

I’m serious about the bowl. You need a much bigger bowl than what you think you need.

Next up, veggies. Veggie choice is up to you. Choose whatever you like. Normally I will use carrots (that I share with the dogs), radishes (that I share with the dogs), avocado (yes, I share a bit of that too), artichoke hearts, bell peppers (my dogs love these), jalapenos (none for doggos), smoked sun-dried tomatoes, and anything else that looked good/was on sale in the produce section that week.

Next up, we need more fiber. Yes, you do. We all need more fiber. Black beans, chickpeas, edamame — it all goes in the bowl.

After that, we need some crunch. Dried beets, crispy jalapenos, and some croutons — Giant has an excellent selection of salad toppers to add a little crunch to your salad.

Now, let’s talk about protein. If I am having this salad as a side dish, I’ll add some cheese (dealer’s choice) and call it a day. If the salad is the meal, I’ll add rotisserie chicken. I am partial to the pre-pulled from Aldi, because it’s easy, and already cold, so it doesn’t make my lettuce wilt.

We’ve reached a make-or-break moment here.

We season our salad. Let me say it louder for the people in the back. We. Season. Our. Salad. We season everything else we eat (or at least you should be) why would this be any different? Salt, pepper, Italian, garlic/onion powder — whatever makes your heart happy — but add seasoning! I am also partial to a little Roasted Chicken Seasoning from Kinders. But if you use that, back off on the salt a bit, or skip it altogether.

Last but not least, dressing. I like trying new salad dressings, so this is really up to personal preference. Just remember. You don’t need as much dressing as you think. A little goes a long way. And I’ll explain how.

Remember that big a** bowl I mentioned before? It’s so you have room to mix and toss your salad. If you take time to properly mix your salad ingredients with the dressing, you won’t need as much, especially if you are using an oil-based or vinaigrette!