Do you know the best part about being with someone for so long? You have all these inside jokes that only the two of you understand. It could have been something that happened twenty years ago, and you can still laugh about it because it feels like it happened yesterday. My husband Chris and I have so many of these. Twenty-seven years together next week, so you can only imagine the stories we have.

Anytime I see a beaver, I say to my husband, “Look, there’s a platypus!” He will never live down the dead beaver floating down the river that he swore on his life was a dead platypus. This will forever stay with us.

Twenty-seven years is a long time — my goodness. I thought I loved that boy back in high school, but each year just keeps getting better and better. We hardly ever fight, and I’m not just saying that. We really don’t. Ask our kids. They will just tell you we can’t keep our hands off each other. I can’t keep my hands off his muscles, ladies. It’s a struggle!

We joke and tease each other because it makes us laugh, but that’s about as far as it goes.

We have our “little things,” and I love it!

I can’t believe I am going to tell you all this, but you know I don’t hold back. You know me! Take me as I am, I say! I totally wasn’t planning on this, but it popped into my head, so why not? People need a good laugh these days, and I am happy to give it to you.

So, the crazy part is he knows I am going to do this before I even do. He just looks at me with the biggest smile, then just shakes his head because he knows it’s coming.

It’s like he sees my eyes lock with the hole in his shirt.

“Really?” he says.

“Yup!” I reply as I slowly grab his shirt from the front, the side with the smallest hole. I then slide that puppy across his chest until his nip pops out of the tiniest hole in his shirt. Bahahaha!!

I have done this since I can remember, and I’ll never stop. He acts as if it annoys him, but deep down, I know he would miss it. Gosh, those tiny holes are perfect for that!

(My mom and dad are probably shaking their heads right now, reading this, thinking “she did not just go there.”) *enter cheesy smile here!*

Listen. This is the kind of relationship we have. Super playful, still flirty, and just living my best life with my best friend. We truly have a special kind of love, and people see that because they tell us. Fun little things like this are what a good, strong relationship is about! So next time you see a hole in your man’s shirt, ladies, do your thang!

Men, if you see one in your lady’s shirt, I mean, go for it. Why not?

(OMG, I am too much! I have to quit writing exactly what I’m thinking!)

OK, on to what this column was actually going to be about!! Haha!

Last Sunday, I was making some breakfast sandwiches. My family goes absolutely nuts over my breakfast sandwiches. It’s not like I do anything special, but they do slap! I could eat them every day. Chris had gone to pick up Kenzy and came home to Tyler and me in the kitchen, getting everything ready. I was cooking the bacon and stirring my fried taters while Ty was toasting English muffins. I would mayo the English muffins as they came out of the toaster and line them up on a cookie sheet, ready for the filling. Topped with fried egg, cheese, and bacon.

Chris walks into the kitchen and looks around.

“What can I help with, babe?” he asked as he looked in the toaster. “Do these English muffins need mayonnaised?”

I turned and looked at him, and in the smartest voice I said, “No, Ty and I mayonnaised them before we put them in the toaster, Timmy. YES, they need mayonnaise when they are done toasting!”

Ty and I just started cracking up.

He did NOT find us amusing. He argued that’s not what he meant, but Ty and I disagreed. We teased him about it during brunch. It was the highlight of the table.

Then, yesterday, Chris found an extra breakfast sammy, still wrapped in foil, in our deli drawer. I told him to have it for breakfast the next day.

“I’ll look forward to that tomorrow,” he said. “They were really good the other day!”

I looked at him with the biggest smile and, without hesitation, asked, “Hey, babe. Do you know why they were so good?”

He slowly looked up at me, and because we have been together for so long and know each other’s next move on practically anything said, “I already know exactly what you are going to say.”

“What? Tell me,” I said.

“They were extra good because you mayonnaised the English muffin before they were toasted!”

“Yuppers!” I said, completely losing it.

Folks, this is how beautiful relationships are made.

Tiny holes for nipples and mayonnaised English muffins.

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Andrea’s Famous Breakfast Sammy’s

Ingredients:
• English Muffin
• 1 1/2 tbsp mayo
• 1 egg, fried and seasoned (lots of pepper!)
• 3 slices of turkey bacon, cooked (Turkey bacon from Aldi! Never Any brand. Trust me! Amazing.)
• 1 slice of American cheese

Directions:

Place bacon in a large pan and cook on each side for a few minutes over medium-high heat. Once the bacon is almost cooked, crack the egg and cook it until it’s thoroughly cooked. Season both sides with salt and generous pepper. Once the egg is cooked to your liking, place a slice of cheese on top. Place the lid on the pan until the cheese is melted. During that time, toast your English muffin.

(Mayonnaise after toasting, haha!)

Place all those goodies into your English muffin and take that first bite. You’ll thank me later. Amazing with seasoned taters and fresh fruit.