Reader beware!
Depending on which day of the week you spend with the pages of this publication, the headline phrase may have been a part of your daily activities. While the true identity of its origin is unknown, April Fool’s Day is a lighthearted occasion encouraging humor through pranks and jokes. The pranks range from simple tricks to elaborate hoaxes that have involved media participation.
Since its 2003 inception, this year is only the third time the paper has carried an April 1 publication date (2015 & 2020 being the others). However, its pages have often ‘reported’ some strange happenings masquerading as April Fools attention-getters.
In keeping with the spirit of the day and in hopeful anticipation of a soon-to-be-warming spring, I came across a few media-produced April 1 stories that had some folks believing — at least for a while.
From the Titusville Herald, April,1, 1963 – The newspaper ran a headline across the top of its sports page declaring that the Pittsburgh Pirates Major League Baseball team was moving to Titusville (population 5,000). The story said the team was reportedly making the move because it was “tired of battling the city fathers for a new stadium on Pittsburgh’s North Side.”
Players for the Pirates were said to be happy with the move, although reliever Roy Face asked. “Where’s Titusville?”
The April Fool’s announcement caused the first sellout of the Titusville Herald in many years, as people bought copies for their scrapbooks.
Sports Illustrated, April 1, 1985 – writer George Plimpton wrote an article describing an incredible rookie baseball player training at the New York Mets camp in St. Petersburg, Florida. The player was named Sidd Finch, who could pitch a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. The fastest previous pitch had been recorded at 103 mph.
Showing up at Mets camp, the 6’4, 170-pound pitcher impressed all who saw him. A Mets catcher described his pitching style as “like a pretzel gone loony.” He frequently wore a hiking boot on his right foot while pitching, his other foot bare. His speed and power were so great that the catcher would only hear a small sound, “a little pft, pft-boom,” before the ball landed in his glove. Batters declared it was not “humanly possible” to hit Finch’s pitches.
Unfortunately for the Mets, Finch was undecided whether to commit himself to a career as a baseball player or pursue a career as a French Horn player. He told Mets management he would let them know his decision on April 1.
Sports Illustrated received almost 2,000 letters in response to the article, and it became one of their most famous stories ever. On April 8, they declared that Finch had held a press conference stating he had lost the accuracy needed to throw his fastball and therefore would not be pursuing a baseball career with the Mets. On April 15, they admitted the story was a hoax.
Dunlop Golf Balls, April 1, 2005 – the company announced plans to offer a golf ball designed specifically for left-handed players. The idea came from a research project undertaken to better understand today’s golfing market.
While left-handed golf clubs are commonplace, no company has yet produced a left-handed golf ball. Many golfers mark their ball with an ink image or even a printed logo to help them focus on the ball at the position of address. The Dunlop Lefty will assist left-handed golfers with a strategically placed, ergonomically designed Dunlop arrow, thus indicating the correct position of the ball to focus on for the left-handed golfer.
(Good luck finding one of those at your local golf shop.)
Erie Times-News, April 1, 1978 – Dave Heberle, outdoors columnist, reported that monofilament fishing line (a popular type of line used in trout fishing) was being banned in Ohio, New York, and Pennsylvania after an EPA researcher, Dr. Ayper Ilfu, found it caused cancer in brook trout. Dr. Ilfu conceded, however, “We’re not 100% sure about rainbows or browns.” Violators would be fined $50 on a first offense and $75 for a repeat violation.
The Pennsylvania Fish Commission was flooded with calls from concerned fishermen. Also, anglers rushed to tackle shops to stock up on the popular line. One owner of an Erie tackle shop said, “It was brutal. People just panicked.”
The newspaper subsequently printed a retraction, “We’re truly sorry.” The article that appeared as a joke turned out to be a nightmare. Heberle was subsequently fired from his job.
As this is being written, I have no idea what owner Jim Webb may be hatching up on page two, but rumor has it he is concerned about a defective ink supply, which may rub off and leave a mess on the reader’s hands.
Caught you looking? April Fool’s!
