Long before Moses lost his temper and struck the rock in the desert, there was another time his anger got the best of him and resulted in a hard fall. The story is found in Exodus 2.
One day, after Moses had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. Looking this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. The next day, he went out and saw two Hebrews fighting. He asked the one in the wrong, “Why are you hitting your fellow Hebrew?” The man said, “Who made you ruler and judge over us? Are you thinking of killing me as you killed the Egyptian?” Then Moses was afraid and thought, “What I did must have become known.” When Pharaoh heard of this, he tried to kill Moses, but Moses fled from Pharaoh and went to live in Midian, where he sat down by a well.
Word had gotten out. Moses thought the sand would cover his tracks. It didn’t. The Jews no longer trusted him, and his Pharaoh-adoptive-grandfather was out to kill him. Moses quickly considered his options. He chose to get out of Dodge. He simply dropped out of his life. He disappeared.
He fled to Midian. There, he took up a new life. He got married and had children. He named his first-born son Gershom, meaning – I have become a foreigner in a foreign land. Exodus 2:22
Moses wasn’t home. He was out on the road. He was running. The name of his son reflected the pain he felt in his heart. Not only did Moses run away from his problems, but he also ran away from his family and everyone who called him friend. There is a steep price to be paid when a man chooses to disappear.
Rick was a good man. In his teens, he felt called by God to serve in full-time vocational ministry. He accepted that call and enrolled in a Bible college, graduating with a degree in theology and youth ministry.
He experienced tremendous success at his first church assignment. He was a gifted speaker with a magnetic personality. He married and started a family. His youth group grew so large that it caught the attention of his denomination. He began receiving invitations to speak at youth camps, conventions, and denominational gatherings. He had a lot on his plate, but Rick was a man on the rise, and he was enjoying his many blessings.
And then he disappeared. Questions swirled as rumors traveled along the grapevine. At denominational meetings, the question inevitably came up, “What ever became of Rick?” His disappearance was a mystery.
Then, the story finally came out. While speaking at a youth camp, Rick had become infatuated with one of the female counselors. An emotional connection developed, and it led to an affair. When Rick realized that others were becoming aware, he considered his options and chose to disappear.
The consequences for Rick were obvious. Disappearing meant he had to leave his life behind. That life included his wife and children, his parents and siblings, his church and youth group, and the many colleagues and leaders who enjoyed his friendship.
His adultery and disappearance were devastating to his wife. She was crushed. He left her with unanswered questions and a family to raise by herself. His disappearance also devastated his young children. Every day was a mix of hope and despair. Will Daddy come back today? Will he want to see me and tell me he loves me?
For abandoned children, the pain of rejection often follows them into adulthood, affecting their future relationships. It is important to know what choosing to disappear does to the people we leave behind. The fallout is awful.
A man disappearing from his family is a rare event, but fallen men disappear from church and their brothers in Christ all the time. As they consider their options, they conclude that the hard work of facing up to their failures and going through the process of confession and restoration just isn’t worth the effort.
As I have mentioned several times in this series of articles, grace is painful before it is amazing. The tumor of guilt must be removed or attacked before healing can begin. Every other option (hiding, fixing, blame-shifting, despair) leaves the tumor in place, allowing it to grow and metastasize. A man who chooses to disappear rather than face his failures is choosing a slow death as gravity pulls him toward the grave. The tumor of guilt is terminal. The only cure is the upward pull of God’s grace. And yes, responding to that grace will be painful, but it is the fallen man’s only true hope.
God’s grace didn’t give up on Moses. A burning bush and a new call and purpose sent Moses back home and on a mission. You can read about it in Exodus 3.
God loves you, and He has a purpose for your life. His grace will continue to pull on you no matter how hard you try to disappear. Yes, He loves you that much. He is pulling on you right now. If you have disappeared, it’s time to go back. It won’t be easy, but it is the only option that leads to a life that is abundant and full. Maybe today’s reading is your burning bush.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full. Jesus, John 10:10
