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Mine Is Bigger Than Yours

For some guys in the area, life is one big competition that only grows stronger with age.

It starts in high school trying to be the best athlete or land a date with Betty Jo, the most popular girl in school.

This is followed by who owns the best car, plays the best game of golf, has the nicest house, and who has the smallest middle-aged belly.

As life grows older, things such as fast cars and push-ups are replaced by the guy with the best insurance coverage, the best cholesterol levels, and tomatoes.

Not just any tomato but the largest, juiciest, and perfectly shaped tomato in the neighborhood where I live.

Each year around this time, backyard gardens, patio plantings, and truck patches are coming back to life with tiny seedlings and high expectations. The challenge is on!

The type of guy that partakes in such a challenge is the guy with the $6,000 riding lawn mower but only has a postage stamp size lawn behind the house, has an answer for every local, national, and world issue, and always must outdo his neighbors.

The goal is simple, grow the best tomato in the neighborhood.

Tomatoes are judged by fellow growers that are looking for the overall best of everything, including taste, color, shape, and size, that are still on the vine in August.

There is no prize, award, or gala dinner. The guy with the winning tomato has the bragging right for the year, and he will use any chance to work his victory into any and all conversations. Over the years, there have been rumors of doping and downright cheating, including a guy that bought amazing gourmet tomatoes at Wegmans and tried to glue them on the vines in his garden.

Most of all, these guys love to talk about their garden

“The best tomato I ever grew was in 1973; that was such a whopper; it weighed five pounds, and it took my family six days to eat all of it.” Of course, they are always ready to share some expert tips on growing terrific tomatoes.

They might even share the one simple secret for having the most amazing tomatoes: buy them at Wegmans.