It does not seem like it, but it has been five years, July 5, 2014, since I lost my beloved wife Mary to leukemia. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about her. Many times it seems like it has been a long five years, and other times it feels like it was just yesterday, whatever it is, the sadness and loneliness does not abate. During those five years, I have been comforted and supported by family and friends, and they have helped to sustain me through these tough years.

But rather than dwell on the sadness and grief that I feel. I want to reflect on the absolute joy that she gave me for the all too short time of five years we were together.

She was a wonderful life partner and companion. We enjoyed each other’s company very much. She always seemed to sense when something was bothering me and did her utmost to help out whenever I was feeling low or needed some positive reinforcement for my all too fragile ego and sense of self-esteem.

She was a very godly woman who epitomized the best of Christian values such as generosity, tolerance, nonjudgementalness, decency, love for her fellow man, and humility.

In the days after her death, I heard various stories and anecdotes from people who knew and loved Mary and what she meant to them. These stories all seemed to focus on her loveliness of spirit, the kindness to them and in many cases, the patience she exhibited. I can attest to that patience personally.

She was always graciously upbeat and was particularly so during her last illness.

Many wonderful things can be said about Mary. She loved and was loved by everyone.

But I think that there is one particular illustration that exemplifies the essence of Mary to me.

When she was earning a degree at Lock Haven, she spent a lot of time at the library studying. During these times she would encounter a woman custodian named Diane. Many times people like Diane are not noticed. They are part of the surroundings to most people and someone that most people would pay little attention to. Diane was a very hard worker who did her work well.

During these encounters with Diane, Mary befriended her, asking about and caring about the things that Diane cared about. Mary treated a humble custodian with the dignity and respect she deserved. It was also the way that Mary treated everyone.

Mary and Diane became dear friends and remained so until the end.

Losing Mary is a bitter and painful loss, but I try to console myself with the thought that at least I had five wonderful years with her. The glow from those years will last me the rest of my days.

The day after we buried Mary, her son, and two of her grandchildren went with me to a Crosscutters game. It had rained a little before the game. When we got to our seats, we looked toward right field and could see a beautiful rainbow. Somehow I think it was Mary telling me everything was going to be alright.

I think paraphrasing two quotes from Shakespeare are how I want to close out this remembrance of my dear Mary.

“When she shall die, cut her out into little stars, and she shall make the face of heaven so fine, that all the world will be in love with night and pay no mind to the garish sun.”

So, “Goodnight my sweet princess Mary and may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.”

Mary, the love you left behind carries on. I know you are safe above.