My topic for the week is postponed because, again, in the news last week a person in NYC whom on the outside was “loved by all of her patients and coworkers” and “a true friend who always extended her kindness to those around her“ ended her life. She left a list of things in life she was going to miss and explained that she “felt absolutely nothing during what should have been the happiest and darkest times in my life,” concluding with comments like, “It’s selfishly time for me to be happy and I know you can get down with that. Please try to remember me as a whole human you shared memories with and not just my final act. This is not your fault. It’s not exactly easy for me either; I’m here for you. I love you. I always have and I always will, I promise.” “I’m coming home, Dad. Make some room up on that cloud and turn the Motown up.”

Unfortunately, this is not the way to a better life; there’s no Wonderland with clouds to bounce to Motown around on and harps to strum waiting on the other side. When I was in college, I spent a month in Honduras with a Church World Service group helping at a housing project. There was a Honduran man, Carlos, there every day, early to late, working hard for literally little more than beans, rice and a small salary for himself and his family in a one-room house. Near the end of our stay there, he asked to share his testimony. He told us, through a translator, that as a young man he lived a terrible life and decided to end it all. He purposely overdosed on drugs and alcohol. He said a man woke him up and pointed to an ominous, gloomy, horrible place and asked him if he wanted to spend forever in there. Carlos recognized the man as Jesus. Then Jesus showed him people needing his labor to help them and asked if he wanted to go there until He took him home. Carlos told him “Yes, Lord, wherever you want me I will go.” When Carlos recovered, he volunteered at the local mission and stayed on ever since. Fortunately, he had a second chance. Most of the time, however, there is no “do over.”

Tragically, for those of us left behind it’s not “Have a good time, dear, and be sure to write!” The devastation, heartache and unending questions are long term. Nothing, but nothing, good comes from it for anyone. A family we grew up with and were close to lost a son to this. It pretty well was their end, too. The father died a few years later. The mother spent her last years in a state hospital. The son’s best friend’s demeanor changed from “happy go lucky” to more cautious and quiet. This was a sad event that hit the whole community with absolutely no “silver lining” ever found in any “cloud.” No one was “better off without him.”

Do hard times come along? Of course, they do. One of my college roommates said that if all of us had a button on our chest we could push that would make us disappear permanently probably no one would be left past 15 years old!! I used to just wish we could have chances to set back the clock a day up to ten years and redo something to get it right. But again, with that capability, I don’t imagine too many would make it past 15 years of age either!!

So here’s what I would like to say about this terrible topic for you and your loved ones: 1.) Have a loving and close family, friends, and faith before a trial comes, so you have anchors to hold you in the storms of life. 2.) When things get bad, contact those in #1. Do not isolate yourself. 3.) We are all here for a reason; don’t let anyone or anything tell you differently. 4.) You are perfect just the way you are. You don’t need to be a “clone” of anyone else. 5.) Don’t be afraid to call for help. 6.) I personally know two other people who the Lord stopped from killing themselves. 7.) God’s word is powerful — use it!! Psalm 23: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for Thou art with me.” Memorize the 23rd Psalm in its entirety and other scripture before the bad times hit, so it is with you in times of trial. Here’s a suggestion, just a page farther back: Psalm 27:1, “The Lord is my light and my salvation — whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid?”

Let me close with a useful cliché “Don’t use a permanent solution to fix a temporary problem.”