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Winter, Winter Go Away

How disgusted am I with a local illegal immigrant issue that’s caused lots of problems, wasted tax dollars and stayed too long?

I’m starting a petition to get this guy deported and say his kind isn’t welcome here anymore.

It’s time Jack Frost took his nor’easter, frozen and frosty wind chilled days and headed north.

To the North Pole, he must go.

Although December, January, and February were snowy and blustery, it seems every other day thus far in March its either snow, snow showers, snow, frigid temps, snow squalls, ice and nasty cold wind.

I feel as though I’m trapped inside some cheap snow globe where the snow starts out pristine white but quickly turns into that gray mush that seems to cover everything including my car, shoes, floor, pants, in my pants, and places a guy would never want snow slop.

And either I need new glasses, or I’m dreaming, because the snowmen I see in front yards, they all seem to be laughing and grinning, as if they were taunting me by saying, “Hey bozo! Go slip on the ice again because we’re here to stay!”

It’s snowing today, March 15, March 20 is the first day of spring, and as of today the weather forecasts are predicting, yes, say that magic word, another nor’easter.

Please make it go away! Enough with winter!

How can you tell winter has stayed longer than expected?
* Long Johns have become more alluring than anything Victoria’s Secret sells.
* It was so cold yesterday I saw a chicken walking with a capon.
* It’s so cold you read an article about it being so cold that it includes the words Victoria’s Secret and a capon — a castrated rooster.
* You forget your car is actually white and not gray.
* Robins are wearing sweaters and earmuffs.
* Your first stop at the grocery store is the rotisserie chicken case to warm your frigid body.
* It was so cold politicians had their hands in their own pockets.
* My nose ran more than a marathon runner.
* You spent three hours trying to find a store that still has rock salt.
* It was so frigid when the farmer milked the cows he got soft serve ice cream.
* You actually, and on purpose, left the house with hot baked potatoes in your pockets to help stay warm.
* You ran out of firewood and had to chop up the piano to stay warm, but you only got two chords out of it.

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