The discipleship journey begins as a spiritual infant is formed by their parents. As the infant grows and begins displaying the ability to make choices and take responsibility, discipleship advances to conformation. At this level, parents provide accountability and correction, while also guarding their growing child from dangerous influences.
For this discussion, we are utilizing parenting and a child’s development from newborn infant to fully mature adult as a way of illustrating the discipleship journey. Both Peter and Paul used this effective imagery.
In formation and conformation, the parent carries the bulk of responsibility. In the third level of discipleship, re-formation, the responsibility shifts to the child who is now an emerging adult. Re-formation is a vital level of discipleship; it also carries the most risk. It is why parents and church leaders are tempted to delay it for as long as possible. Sometimes, however, it is the emerging adult who is unwilling to venture into the responsibilities of adulthood. Remember, the conformation level can become a trap of legalism that results in bondage to a list of rules rather than freedom.
Picture an emerging adult heading off to college, the military, or the workplace. Parents know their child will now be exposed to a variety of influences. Will their efforts at formation stand up to those challenges? Will their child continue to conform to the parent’s values and faith? Every parent who has lived through this stage understands what is at stake — and why it is so difficult to let go.
It is hard for a parent to accept that their days of being in control are over. It can feel like an abrupt moment, made more painful knowing their child is happy this day has arrived. Their time of freedom has come, and they will make their own choices. They are entering re-formation — and mom and dad’s efforts will switch from day-to-day parenting to minute-by-minute praying.
Why is re-formation necessary? It is required for one reason: God doesn’t have grandchildren. He always presents his relationship with us as Father and child. It is first-person. Each generation must freely receive God’s grace for themselves. No one else can do that for them. This is vitally important in the church. Too often, a rising generation is living off the residual glory experienced by previous generations. When that happens, a church slowly begins to die. Every generation must experience God’s shekinah glory, His power and presence, for themselves. This is why every rising generation of believers must have a visionary purpose. Proverbs 29:18 declares, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” (NKJV)
The key word in re-formation is question. As emerging adults experience an expanding and changing world, everything they were formed and conformed to believe is put to the test. The questioning is important because it is the only way they will arrive at re-formed conclusions and be blessed with a first-person relationship with their heavenly Father.
For the emerging adult disciple, there is a trap at the re-formation level. The trap is described succinctly by Paul in II Timothy 3:7,
Always learning, but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth.
Some emerging adults make learning or questioning a lifestyle. Why? Because endlessly questioning everything means they never have to act on anything. Truth demands action. It is often inconvenient and requires responsibility and sacrifice. That’s why people avoid it. Staying at the re-formation level allows the reluctant to perpetually argue and debate to avoid dealing with truth. When someone gives them a reasonable answer to their question, they change the angle of the question, or the premise of the debate, just to keep it going. They become masters at obfuscation. Webster defines obfuscation as:
To throw into shadow; to darken; to make obscure; to hide; to make more difficult to understand; to confuse.
I wasted too much energy in my early ministry years arguing with obfuscators. In time, I figured out their strategy: ask endless questions to avoid dealing with truth. The truth will require them to act: to accept it or reject it. That’s exactly what they don’t want, so they just keep asking questions under the guise of seeking truth.
When I encounter an obfuscator, I stop the debate and ask this question, “If I can prove truth to you, beyond a reasonable doubt, will you be willing to accept it?” A true obfuscator will answer, “There is no such thing as truth.” I conclude the conversation this way: “You believe it’s true that there is no truth. Interesting. How do you know that’s true?” Obfuscators aren’t the only ones who can ask questions.
Re-formation is a vital level of discipleship. It is an emerging disciple’s opportunity to question what they’ve been taught in light of new knowledge and experience. Doing so reveals truth and sets them free to experience that first-person, shekinah-glory-relationship with their heavenly Father.
If they choose the truth of the gospel, the narrow road that leads to life (see Matthew 7:13-14), they will advance to the next level of discipleship: transformation. If they reject the truth, the wide road that leads to death, they will remain in bondage. This is why Jesus declared in John 8:
If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free… very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
My friend, it is good to question. Re-formation is important, just don’t make it a lifestyle. Determine to arrive at truth, accept it, and act on it. Doing so will set you free. Never stop short of freedom!
