I decided to shave. It was a valiant effort. Call it another midlife crisis. I was going for the Robert Redford. Trying to portray what he looked like in Jeremiah Johnson. Scruffy and rugged. I was seriously thinking about joining the bearded brethren. Needing to simplify. Get back to basics. Eliminate the stresses and electronic leashes. But I was shocked at their initiation fees. Perhaps one day. Back to the clean-cut preppy me.

I have a very long history with the Amish Community. It all started when I was employed by the Lycoming County Recreation Authority. I had several duties and responsibilities at White Deer Golf Course. Amish relations was one of them. I wrote a story about a strange encounter. I had to track down a bearded neighbor after of his cows found a hole in his fence. They were grazing in the middle of the fairway on Challenge 4. WHAT DO WE DO? FIND SPENCER. That was a hilarious adventure. The article went viral. I was a hero. But it was very short-lived. One of his emus escaped the following weekend. True story, kids.

I have made many new friends with my current post at Susquehanna Marble & Granite. We deal with several Amish cabinet builders. I do not want to drop their names as others may get jealous. Tons of them read this column. They think that I am somewhat important.

I love working with these guys. They are a true blessing. I will often travel to say hi. Yes. We talk shop. But most of our time is spent in deep conversation. We laugh and cry. They ask me some difficult questions. I do my best to entertain. I enjoy hearing more about their faith and traditions. The feelings are mutual.

I have some great material. My bearded friends and I belong on television. I am secretly working on a pilot. Netflix said no. But my mom knows someone who works for HULU. No. I am not allowed to record or take selfies. My bearded friends have not signed my waiver. I am trying to find ways. My friends are already local rockstars. They need to be on the global stage.

Life is good, boys. We are super busy. Good problem to have if you are a boss. But not if you are a minion. WHAT’S A MINION? Tough to explain, boys. They are little yellow dudes who do all the work. Here. No one is looking. Watch this YouTube clip from Despicable Me 2. Those are minions. OH, I SEE. WE NEED A FEW MINIONS TOO. LOL. Haha. I was dying. Wait until they see the plush dolls I bought for them on Amazon.

We have gotten to know each other quite well. This goes well beyond a business relationship. We exchange gifts during holidays and Christmas. I tend to spoil their children. Teach and Jensen tag along. We have had several interactions. Fishing is a common passion. My bearded brothers and I compare notes often. I have been with them on a few adventures. Paddling down the Susquehanna or bassing at Rose Valley. It is splendid. Again. A blessing.

I am sure you heard about the recent tragedy. It was a national news story. An explosion. Resulting in seven fatalities. Just awful. A mother and her six children. Ranging in ages from 2 to 11. No words. I quickly found out that they were close relatives to some of my chums. I reached out immediately. I tried sharing some words of encouragement. I didn’t know what to say. I told my friends that I loved them.

I received a call back a few days later. It was a beautiful and tough conversation. One that I will never forget. My bearded friend and I didn’t chat about countertops or cabinets. We talked about life. Ten minutes of embracing the moment. Cherish your family and always give props. It was a much-needed reset. He thanked me for reaching out. He said my voicemail meant a lot.

Much love to my extended Amish friends. We will continue to pray for the Stoltzfus family. My bearded brothers are a true blessing. They are impressive and hardworking people. They remind me to stay humble and keep things simple. I am honored and very thankful for our friendships. Cheers.