I don’t really know where to begin with this, but I’ll just go with the flow. The writer in me tells me it will probably be a little lengthy, so hang in there. Grab a cozy mug of hot cocoa topped with fluff, then come sit with me and hear about my journey. You’ll laugh, maybe cry, but I hope it makes you feel hopeful if you are going through something hard.

It’s real and raw.

I would like to start by saying, ‘Thank you.’ Thank you! Thank you! Chris and I were absolutely blown away by the love, support, and prayers we received during this challenging time in our lives. We are filled with gratitude and feel incredibly loved. The meal train, gift cards, and non-stop cards and text messages were so awesome. The amount I got was unbelievable. I’m saying this as a part of my journey because you guys have no idea how much it helped me.

Knowing that many people were praying for me going into this gave me immense comfort. I get goosebumps thinking about it. I hope this story touches your heart because God’s hands were in it the whole way. I can’t wait to share! But I just had to thank you all first; you made a girl feel so loved. It was remarkable and I am forever grateful.

I had no idea how I would feel coming out of this and knowing I couldn’t move my arm more than a 90-degree angle for a month would be a challenge.

The meal train filled up faster than we ever could have imagined, and I went into this with the feeling of “friends and family have my back, this is just incredible.”

Seriously, just blown away before my surgery even started. Thank you and thank you to my best girls who came up with the idea and set the meal train up for me.

OK, so let’s jump into this.

As you know, this whole year has just been a roller coaster ride. I found out I had heart failure in January. My ejection fraction was 30%. I was on Humira for ulcerative colitis, and we just thought that was the culprit, since I am so sensitive to medication. HF was found in people taking this drug. It’s slim, but it has happened. They also found that I had a left bundle branch block (LBBB), which they are fairly certain I was born with but had never known about until now. (Looking back on things in my past when I was younger, it honestly all makes sense now.)

Was it the Humaria mixed with the LBBB? I was put on lots of heart medication to make my heart stronger, and I could feel myself breathing better. Most days, it was like trying to breathe out of a straw. I would need to take really deep breaths or get a good yawn to feel like I could breathe.

I’d also like to point out that for almost two years, I dealt with terrible colon issues due to other medications I was on. I had four colonoscopies in less than two years, and my very last colonoscopy, my doctor caught something on the monitor she didn’t like and requested that I get an echo done. That’s what caught my heart problem after all these years, which is insane.

But you want to hear something even crazier?

So, in January, I was diagnosed with heart failure. I immediately stopped the Humaria, which was treating my “ulcerative colitis.” As soon as I was diagnosed with heart failure and off Humaria, I have had NO colon symptoms whatsoever this year. Completely back to normal. I swear that God gave me colon issues to find my heart problem. But I asked, “Lord, out of all the parts on my body that could have found my heart issue with, why oh why did you choose to give me an a** problem?” LOL. I still don’t understand it, but I’m not questioning him. I just had to go through crappin’ myself in Tony’s Deli parking lot and rushing to the bathroom at crazy times to find my heart issue. Don’t get me wrong, I am totally grateful, but dang. That colon issue stuff is no joke!

In April, my EF went up to 40-45%. Phew.

So, thinking the Humaria caused this, they slowly started to wean me off my heart meds.

Jump to August, where I had my next echo.

A few weeks before my echo, the night of my 40th birthday, something happened to my leg, and I couldn’t move it. I was in terrible pain. Ortho had no idea what was going on. It wasn’t until my cardiologist prescribed a water pill that my leg returned to normal. The LBBB was causing my left leg to not receive much oxygen or blood flow. My heart was so weak that it couldn’t push it down my body. The left leg was the last limb the body needed to do, so it suffered.

When I found out my EF was even worse (20-25%) than it was in January, my heart sank. How was this possible?? My cardiologist was all over this. She explained to me that she truly thought my LBBB was causing everything, and the Humaria just probably worsened my symptoms.

The only way to correct or help a LBBB was with a pacemaker. Seriously? I’m 40. She suggested I see an electrophysiologist (EP) who specializes in pacemakers and see what they think. Dr. Munchnik then scheduled the surgery, so I wouldn’t be months out if they decided to proceed. I’d also like to say that she is extremely hard to get into, and I am so grateful that God made a spot for me to get into her. At my last appointment, she told me I was one of her favorite patients and that she looks forward to seeing me. She has truly gone above and beyond for me.

A few days later, in September, they called me saying they had an opening for surgery on October 24th. That was really quick for them! (Again, GOD!) Of course I took it, but in the back of my head I am thinking they will just keep me on heart meds longer to see if that will fix it! Right? Like, I am only 40. Old people get pacemakers. Not 40-year-olds.

My momma came with me to my appointment on October 3rd to see the EP, and there wasn’t even a whisper of not doing the surgery. In fact, the first thing out of the doctor’s mouth was, “We have an opening for surgery on October 13th and would like to give you the spot.”

Wait. What? Are you kidding me right now? I didn’t even have my head in the right spot to jump into a surgery about a week from that day. I needed the thought of having a pacemaker put in to sink in first. I needed to prepare for my family. I had applesauce to make, windows to clean before it got cold, and Halloween plans! Dang it all, October was just not a good month for me. Couldn’t we just wait till January? I mean, I hadn’t croaked over yet.

To be continued…

Crockpot Applesauce – Perfect for the holidays!

Ingredients:
• 3 lbs. McIntosh apples
• 3 lbs. Granny Smith apples
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 cinnamon sticks
• 4 tbsp. lemon juice
• 4 tbsp. butter

Directions:

Peel apples, slice them and put everything in a greased crock pot except for the butter.

Cook on high for 3-4 hours stirring occasionally.

Take out cinnamon sticks, then mash everything together and add butter. (You can smooth it out with a hand mixer to make it extra smooth.) Cool, then store in the fridge or freezer.