After a recent closet clean-out and a mid-40s birthday, I’ve begun to consider how my personal style has changed in the last decade, after getting older, having kids, dealing with illness, and being drawn in and out of ever-changing trends. Here lately too often I’ve been standing in front of my closets full of clothes and thinking I have nothing to wear. We’ve all been there, I’m sure. The truth is that I have too much to wear, we all have too many clothes, right? The real problem is that I no longer know my options that will reflect my true style. Does that mean I throw everything out and go on a shopping spree? As much as I’d like to say “yes,” the fact is that signature style, at my age, isn’t something you can find in a store. Personal style is already living conspicuously in my closet, woven by the pieces that are most loved, most worn, and I feel my best wearing. Let’s explore how to uncover true personal style from what’s already hanging in the closet.
Personal style is often miscategorized as aspirational when, in fact, it’s quite practical. It’s about finding what works best on and for you, regardless of trends or fads. With that in mind, let’s start with a practical step: Spend a week observing your clothing choices. Every time you get dressed to leave the house, take note of which items you’re wearing and review at week’s end. Work-from-home days, housework days, and binge-watching days don’t count. It’s what you wear to go out in the world that should be noted. Your review should ask: What colors or fabrics do you gravitate toward? What items, or types of garments, showed up more than once? What pieces and looks made you feel the most presentable, comfortable, and authentically you? This mini audit will give you clarity on what already works.
Next, a less practical but fun step: Give your style a name. This may seem silly, but a name/title helps you filter out the pieces that don’t mesh with your named style. Some name ideas would be Soft Rebel—feminine with a bit of edge. Coastal Classic—timeless neutrals in laid-back linen. Boho Romantic—flowing silhouettes in rustic patterns. Or pick a style icon that speaks to you. My personal style is named Diane, after Diane Keaton; think trousers, button-downs, stripes, etc. Don’t overthink it, your name doesn’t need to be bulletproof, just one that feels like you.
After you have your style title, then look to creating go-to outfit formulas. This takes some of the guesswork out of getting dressed. For example, with Diane in tow, I’m going to plan for a pull-on pant, graphic tee, cardigan, and sneakers for casual days. For work, high-waisted trouser, plain t-shirt, blazer, and loafers. Sure, there would be additional accessories and some slight changeups, but as long as you have your formula, you can plan looks even with slight variations. And don’t think you have to limit yourself to one formula. You can have templates based on your lifestyle. Saturdays could be jeans, a tee, a sweater, then Sunday is a midi skirt, a blouse, and ballet flats—Mon-Thurs button-up, skirt, boots. Come Friday for an evening out, jumpsuit, heels, and statement earrings. No matter your formula or template, everything should flatter your body, make you feel confident, and fairly comfortable while suiting your daily life.
We’ve done the audit, we’ve named our style, we’ve equated some formulas, now it’s time to edit your closet. Pieces that don’t fit into your normal wear, formulas, or style label need to go. This includes the “guilt pieces.” What’s a guilty piece? That dress you bought on sale but never wore. Or the old dress that you might, maybe, fit into again? Trendy items that are more embarrassing now than fashionable? These types of pieces add clutter to your wardrobe and block the actual garments that will best serve you. Donate or give away, if you have the time and patience, try to sell on a secondhand site or at a consignment shop. Carving out your personal style requires being honest about what works now for your current body, life, and energy. There’s no failure or waste in letting go; instead, it’s about making space and gaining clarity.
Moving forward, when you’re out in the wild or online and finding yourself in need of some outfit inspiration, it’s fine to save a look on Pinterest or be drawn to a celebrity’s style, but steer clear of copying or buying items that match that look. Instead, identify what appeals to you in an inspo pic, or what someone stylish is wearing. Is it the color combination that you’re drawn to, or is it the particular silhouette? Is it how they’ve layered a turtleneck under a dress or how the scarf is tied? Once you pinpoint what attracts you to a look, then reinterpret it using pieces you already own. This is another way of truly building your personal style, that will ideally evolve with you.
Speaking of evolution, once you find your personal style, it doesn’t have to stay set in stone forever. Style shifts with our age, bodies, attitudes, and milestones. Give yourself permission to explore, refine, and adapt your personal style as different needs or seasons come up. The point of personal style is to change your closet from a place filled with random pieces bought in a rush or under pressure into a toolbox with items that work and support your lifestyle, your confidence, your mood, and help you express who you are and who you may yet become.
