This week’s write-up has very little to do with sports. I only wanted to give my boys a quick shout.

My full-time gig is with Susquehanna Marble and Granite. Yes. There is never a dull moment. My fellow work chums say that I am a liability. Rocks are heavy. I am not the strongest guy, and I tend to break stuff. I tried. It didn’t work. I am over my midlife crisis. It was time to make the transition. Do you guys need a hand? NO. GET BACK IN THE OFFICE AND ANSWER THE PHONES. After four years, you would think I would learn how to read a tape measure. I guess I am okay with not being allowed in the shop. It is much safer for everyone. GET AWAY FROM THAT FORKLIFT. That’s another story.

We are very blessed to work with so many great people. I truly enjoy all of our customers and all of our jobs. We treat every top the same, regardless of size or material. I stopped showing my bride photos from our installations. You wouldn’t believe some of these projects. I have also made many new friends in my short tenure.

We deal directly with several Amish cabinet builders. I do not want to drop their company names or individual identities as others may become jealous. I love working with these guys. It is a true joy, and I am very thankful for our relationships. I will often take drives to Howard, Loganton, and Montgomery. I am there to talk shop, but we spend most of our time in conversation. We share all kinds of great stories. I often joke and say we need to sign a deal with Netflix.

I have a very long history with the Amish. It all started when I was employed at White Deer Golf Course. I believe I wrote a story about a very strange occurrence. I had to track down a neighbor who had a hole in his fence. We had five of his cows grazing in the middle of the 12th fairway. WHAT DO WE DO? WHERE’S SPENCER? That was a hilarious adventure. The article went viral. I was a hero. Well, it was short-lived. We had an emu escape the following week.

I have some great material. My bearded friends seriously belong on television. I am now secretly working on a pilot. I really think there is a market. No. I am not allowed to record or take selfies. But I am finding ways to incorporate. Seriously. You can’t make any of this up. My guys are already rockstars. One of my favorites was during the pandemic. We all remember the shutdown. SMG was not considered essential. We had to close for a five-week period. I had to make several calls that Friday morning. I reached out to one. Luckily he was near the phone.

Hey S. Jamie Spencer. Say we have to postpone that template next week. WHY? Well, S. I don’t know if you heard. But we have to shut down. WHY? Well. I guess there is some kind of virus. They are calling it Corona. I am not a doctor, nor do I know the details. But everything has come to a halt. NO. GEEZ. THE CABINETS ARE INSTALLED. WHEN CAN YOU MEASURE? I really can’t answer that, S. Seriously. I have no clue. WELL, AM I SUPPOSED TO CLOSE TOO? S. I love you. I really can’t answer that either. But I have to go. I have twenty more calls. Good luck.

Yes. I felt like I was working for CNN. Another episode happened more recently. It turns out that many of my friends actually read the Webb Weekly. I had to drive up to Howard to deliver a sink. It was the usual. We shared some info about some upcoming jobs and then started talking. My guys were asking all kinds of questions. They hit me up about basketball. You know the usual. I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COACHED. YOUR TEAM MUST BE PRETTY GOOD. Yes. We had a great year A. It was a lot of fun. My players made me look good. DID YOU GUYS EVER PLAY AGAINST LEBRON JAMES? I am dead serious. This belongs on the big screen.

I just love learning more and more about my friends with each of these visits. We have gotten to know each other quite well. We even exchange small gifts at Christmas. I tend to spoil some of their children. Every Amish kid in our area deserves a baby Yoda. My son Jensen has tagged along on many occasions. I enjoy watching him interact, and he, too, is an Amish whisperer. Jensen is so good with the toddlers. He has no problems playing tag and tractor. It is a beautiful thing to watch. I wish more kids would get this opportunity. That reminds me. Maybe we can do an Amish day camp or something. This idea could really work. But let’s wait until I hear back from HULU.

Fishing is a common passion. My bearded brothers and I compare notes quite often. Don’t let their looks fool you. I always pictured them sitting around an old pond using a cane pole. Negative folks. Some of my friends have nicer setups than I do. I always give my chums a few lures to try. I recently hooked up one with a few Heddon Torpedoes. I explained how these topwater baits emulate a wounded baitfish or frog. Bass will absolutely crush them. B. wouldn’t accept them at first. Then he offered to pay. I told him, no, and he gave me a bottle of chocolate milk. There is talk of a trip with my guys from Montgomery. We are planning a float on either Pine Creek or the Susquehanna. I was thrilled to finally score an invite. When it happens, I will do my best to hire a drone to record some footage.

My bearded friends are a true blessing. I am serious. They remind me to stay humble and keep things simple. They are impressive and hard-working people. I love hearing more about their faith and traditions. I believe the feeling is mutual. Great stuff. Wait until I tell you more about Emmanuel. Cheers.