Skype calls, online learning, live-streamed exercise classes, it’s a whole new virtual world. Beyond work and lessons, people are also looking to the Internet to lessen feelings of social isolation. One of my favorite outlets here during this stay-at-home order are virtual happy hours. Not only does an evening “event” help give the day/week structure, but seeing friendly faces can be a lifeline when missing your friends and loved ones. So far, I’ve been able to connect with a few friends using virtual meeting apps on both my laptop and phone. Here are my suggestions for organizing and outfitting your own virtual “HH”.

First, keep it small. This is not the medium to have a class reunion. Your meet-up should be no more than 8-10 people or else it just becomes chaos. Larger groups also run the risk of leaving people outside-looking-in and not really participating. Also, keep it to an hour, or 90 minutes at most. Everyone is dealing with topsy-turvy schedules and, while you may have a wide-open evening, others may only have 45-60 minutes for a quick check-in and a glass of wine.

To mix things up, you may want to suggest a theme. This could be a drink and food theme, like “Ladies who Lemonade” or “Mocktail Moms.” Or a dress-up theme, like favorite animal costume or sports jersey. I fully admit we’re all going a little stir crazy in my house and feeling a little cuckoo, which led to me logging into a video chat after letting my 4-year old raid the Halloween box and do my makeup. Needless to say, I was a very dolled up panda for a check-in with my friends.

For those of you who haven’t given in to a full case of the “sillies” connecting online is a good excuse to shake off rumpled clothes and dress up a bit for your next Google Hangout. Some makeup, jewelry, and a cute top can bring a sense of normalcy to your virtual happy hour. Your shirt can be something simple, like a striped tee, a polka-dot blouse, or a sweater in a vibrant color. Ideally, you’d put on something clean and fresh, not the oversized grey tank top you’ve been working in all day.

Even though this is an online gathering, setting is still important. Wherever you hold your happy hour, make sure the lighting is bright enough so others can see you. Also, try to keep background noise to a minimum, maybe utilize earbuds or headphones. Patios, kitchen tables, and front porches are all suitable places to log-on, just be sure there’s a stable surface for your device, and a comfortable seat for yourself.

If you do find yourself Zooming from a less than ideal location in your home, say your bedroom, or bathroom (no judgement, I’ve hidden from my kids in the bathroom), utilize virtual backgrounds. Hey, that could be the theme of your happy hour! Everyone picks their ideal vacation spot as their background.

Speaking of backgrounds, another helpful feature is the grid view which will let you see everyone attending at once in equal-size boxes. This also allows everyone to see each other’s facial expressions and gives visual cues when someone is about to speak.

And speaking of speaking, keep the topics light for your conversation. We’re all dealing with stress and talking about the news or the latest COVID stats isn’t good for anyone’s psyche when trying to connect with friends. Some possible topics are “what shows are you watching,” “what books are you reading,” “what is the first thing you’ll do once the order has been lifted?” Focus on positive subjects. If someone in your friend group is struggling, it’s okay to acknowledge that and offer support in a one-on-one call.

Lastly, listen. Everyone will try to talk, and, in larger groups, you can really only hear one person at a time. If you’ve been sharing for a few minutes, sit back and offer up a question to the group so that everyone can participate. If you’re desperate to share, then use the “hands up” or chat function to alert the group you want to speak.

Some of the most common meeting apps include: Skype, FaceTime, Google Hangouts, Zoom, and Microsoft Teams. If you’re unfamiliar with this type of technology, well a virtual happy hour is a safe space to learn how to navigate the features and functions. So, if nothing else, an online HH is an opportunity to learn some new life skills!