Fall is my favorite time of year, and I successfully teed it up every Friday in September. I’m off to a great start here in October. We are currently approaching the tenth hole of the Williamsport Country Club. The teams and organizations we represent will sometimes vary, but I will almost never pick up the tab. Golf is way too expensive, sports fans. I simply sit by the phone and wait. I’m a hired gun in the North Central PA Flaming Foliage Scramble Circuit.

A four-person scramble or best ball is the most popular way to generate funds. Golfers hit away, select the best shot, and continue to play until the ball is holed. You can totally stink and still have a splendid experience. I prefer playing in these types of formats because I hate to putt, and the beer is free. I can still hold my own from tee to green. My friends call me Steady Eddie. Nothing flashy. Just solid. But when I get to the back nine- Johnny Goodtimes comes out.

My teams always place. Okay. We usually win. I get called a ringer from time to time. But that comes with the territory. Our scores depend on the gimmicks. Scrambles are fundraisers, and you have the opportunity to buy some incentives. Didn’t like your putt? Use a mulligan. Red tee challenges are my personal favorite. You actually pay money to move to the reds. Hit one inside of six inches? Use a ribbon, and it’s good. Give us $20, and you can deduct a stroke. Sign me up. I’ve even played in tournaments where you throw a nerf football to improve your position. It’s great. 26 under par? Gimmicks folks.

I’ve had the opportunity to play several of the area’s premier courses these past few weeks. I was going to do a review on each but decided to pass as I can’t afford to lose any more friends. Clinton Country Club was nice. The same with Wynding Brook. Played both of the courses at White Deer and WCC is always a blast.

Many folks have asked what’s currently in the bag. I’m not kidding. Like it really matters. Well, I’ve had the same irons since college. My Titleist DCI 962s have seen better days. I have three Titleist Vokey wedges. 48, 54, and 58 is the usual setup. I bought a new 20-degree hybrid, but I never actually hit it. I only keep it around because it has a cool headcover. I have an old reliable Nike 3 wood and a Callaway XR 8.5 degree driver. I’m always looking for the perfect putter. Right now, I rotate between ten. The original PING Zing BeCu better start producing, or it’s going back in the garage.

Golf is a great game, and I enjoy the camaraderie. But it’s expensive to play, and it takes a lot of time. I love it when folks ask me to join, especially if they are paying the bill. I can’t tell you the last time I played my own ball. It’s cool. Until I hit the lottery — I’m OK with being a scramble scab. Cheers.