Father John Manno came to Annunciation Parish (as it was known then) right around the time I left home for college. So, I never had the same level of interactions with him that rest of my family experienced. I did enjoy his homilies when I came home for weekend visits, and I was impressed with how engaging and hands-on he was in his ministry. Even though I wasn’t an active member of his parish during his tenure, Father John ended up having an extremely important impact on my life that I’d like to share here.

At college, I met my future husband. We were so young, but we thought we knew everything, as many young people do. I wasn’t necessarily devout in my faith during college — I attended mass here and there. But, when it came time to plan our wedding, we decided to have a Catholic ceremony, mostly to please our parents. We went for pre-canon (the Catholic pre-marriage counseling process) through the Pittsburgh diocese where we both went to school.

On a weekend home between wedding planning appointments, we met with Father John, as he would be officiating our service. He told us that there were three people in a marriage, and me, being 22 and thinking I knew everything, smartly said, “and the 3rd person is God?” Father John wisely responded, “You say that because I’m wearing this (pointing to his collar). No, the 3rd person is the marriage itself.” The idea that our marriage, our relationship, was its own entity really struck a chord for both my future husband and myself.

As we began our lives together, we decided to heed Father John’s advice and periodically check-in on our marriage. We set a day and time to sit down and discuss how we each felt our marriage was progressing. I’d pray about it before we talked, asking myself if I was giving our relationship the care and attention it deserved.

The first years of being married were a bit chaotic. We both worked full-time, living in very small apartments, as we took turns going to grad school. Then we found some stability in our careers, bought a house, and our marriage settled down a bit. We allowed ourselves to take more time to enjoy being married by going on trips, supporting each other’s aspirations, and creating a home as a family of two adults. It was during this time we began to explore what God’s plan was for our marriage. This led to children, which was a major shift, and put a lot of pressure on our relationship. There have been a lot of prayers for patience and understanding. As parents, my husband and I have less time to devote to being husband and wife, as our Mommy and Daddy roles have taken precedent. But, we know that as the children get older, we’ll be able to reconnect to our marriage since we left it strong. We also continue to check-in on it and are looking forward to the years ahead.

We have been married now for 16 years. My husband and I joke that our marriage is old enough to drive, because we still see it, and treat it, as the “third person” in our relationship thanks to Father John. Statistically, people who get married young (I was 22, my husband was 25), end up divorcing, and thankfully we’ve beaten those odd. Father John put our marriage and us on a solid path and gave us the tools to build it up in faith, trust, and love.

There are people all over this valley with Father John stories and reminisces. Thank you for reading mine.