I have a confession to make: I love caffeine.
Just like a lot of people, I depend on it to get stuff done. Stuff I don’t necessarily want to do. Like taxes, cleaning up cat puke, and spending a ridiculous amount of time in the kitchen or laundry room.
Truth be told, I need my caffeine fix to overcome a default setting of abject lethargy. It’s embarrassing, I know.
What’s ironic is that I don’t especially like coffee. I tried acquiring a taste for it in college while I pulled all-nighters, to no avail. I eventually resolved that issue by mixing it into my dark chocolate hot cocoa, so I could barely taste its bitterness. Problem solved.
Oddly enough, it only takes about a teaspoonful to get me revved, or as my husband likes to say, “jazzed.” As in, “Oh no, you’re all jazzed now, and I’ll have to deal with THIS version of you!” But this version of me feels invincible — like vacuuming the entire house, cleaning the gutters, or going on a 10-mile hike (not that I actually will).
Needless to say, “caffeinated me” irritates him to no end because, of course, I talk incessantly and remind him of things he needs to do. I also interrupt his precious scrolling time. I figure I’m just helping him help himself not to be so addicted to his phone.
I think what aggravates him most about this situation is that he prefers being energized early in the day, while I prefer later in the afternoon and into the evening. What’s more, he could consume five cups of java and not feel a thing, whereas the mere thought of ingesting a few sips of the brewed wonder makes my leg bounce in anticipation. It’s par for the course, though — take two people who are opposite in almost every way imaginable, and invariably they marry each other. That’s us.
In the end, I guess we’ve learned to tolerate each other’s differences — even the ones that involve caffeine, which delights me because I can’t imagine having to sacrifice either my dear husband or my dear coffee/cocoa fix.
That said, caffeine makes me happy. It’s like sprinkling joy all over my day — especially on the days I have to will myself to do anything remotely cognitive, like balancing a checkbook, paying bills, or (you guessed it) writing this column.
My brain just works better on caffeine. It bounces from one task to the next with remarkable hyperfocus, helping me accomplish a host of gotta-dos in record time, all thanks to a liquid form of motivation. It inspires greatness within me regarding physical tasks, too, causing me to achieve the impossible — like making our mattress pad fit on the bed without committing hara-kiri.
Out of sheer curiosity, I Googled images of caffeine. Apparently, the crystals look wild under a microscope — like clusters of jagged little particles, poised to wreak havoc wherever they might land. It’s no wonder it does what it does to the body and brain. I encourage you to Google it, too. You won’t be disappointed.
Not surprisingly, frappés are my decadent treat, especially if they contain pumps of Frappuccino roast and dark chocolate Java chips. My doctor will be pleased to know that I don’t make a habit of ordering them often, because they’re basically diabetes in a cup. That said, I look forward to meeting up with my dear friend, Barb, at Starbucks in the very near future. I’m sure we’ll catch up on all the latest happenings in our lives and enjoy something delicious (and caffeinated) in the process.
Welcome to my world. It’s where I live (probably sipping coffee-laced cocoa). Visit me there at http://www.melindawentzel.com. Signed books are available on Etsy at PlanetMomMarket.
