I previously wrote an article titled, Moving Forward. The article was based on a story, which has been on my mind a lot recently, about Dean Furness, who was an analytic consultant for Wells Fargo. Furness was a very middle-class person; very average in every way. He was from the midwest and was married with a wife and children. He also liked to putter around his hobby farm in his spare time. Very average, very normal.
The story goes that in 2011, Furness was moving a large hay bale with his tractor as he had done many times. As he was backing up, with hay bale raised, the wheels of the tractor slipped in the grass. The hydraulics jammed, and the bale was lifted higher and higher until it fell back, striking Furness in the back. Immediately, he knew something was wrong, not because of the pain but because of the tingling sensation running down his extremities.
The injury was significant but not overly complex. He had broken a couple of vertebrae. The blow, however, had severed his spinal cord, and he was paralyzed from the chest down. He was now forced to use a rope to sit up in bed because his abdominal muscles no longer worked, and he had to use a board to slide out of bed into a wheelchair. Furness was now dependent on others to help him reach things and do the simplest tasks.
All of Furness’s capabilities were changed the instant the hail bale struck his back. He would likely never walk again and would have no sensation from the chest down. He would need accommodations for the simplest errands and tasks such as driving and going to the store. It is likely that if we were in his place, we would feel sorry for ourselves and wallow in self-pity and depression. We would look back at what we once were and compare ourselves to that person. And Furness did for a while. The difference was that he eventually chose to fight.
His wife prodded him to get moving forward, and he realized he needed to stop using his former capabilities to measure his current progress. He had to forget his former self. He knew that if he was to survive this catastrophic setback and not be consumed with despair, he needed to change his mindset.
On the first day of his rehab, he was taken to a fitness class where he, along with others recovering from similar injuries, were broken up into teams. The idea was to combine a bit of healthy competition with some exercise. He did well but also injured himself in the process. It was then, after his “healthy” competition, that Furness realized not only could he not compare himself to his former self, but that he should not compare himself to anyone. He had to start fresh and examine where he was right now at this moment in time. If Furness was to move forward, he realized he had to let go of the past and base any future goals only on his current situation and abilities.
Ultimately, Furness was encouraged to begin competing in a half marathon using his wheelchair. Though he had very little time to prepare for the race, he completed it and used it to motivate himself. Eventually, he could work his way up to a full marathon. His times improved, and he was meticulous in tracking anything related to the training and techniques of racing. He didn’t concern himself with the past, only with where he was going and how to be better than he currently was.
This story has touched me both because of its inspiration but also because its wisdom is so profound in its simplicity. Move forward. Don’t dwell on the past. Determine where you are right now, at this moment, and move forward from there. In fact, this story has become so meaningful to me that I’ve been sharing it with my personal training clients and health education students. When they tell me they fell off the “diet wagon” and gained a couple of pounds, I tell them to learn from their mistake and move forward. When they tell me that work has gotten in the way of their workouts, I tell them to find a solution to whatever barrier stands in the way of reaching their goals and starting fresh. In my own life, when an injury or illness has set back my progress, I think, Today is a new day; start fresh. The bottom line is that life will always put up roadblocks and obstacles. There will always be stress and drama. Isn’t this true of every great story? The difference between those that find happiness, joy, and fulfillment and those who wallow in self-pity is the ability to move forward. To be resilient and start from the exact point at which they currently reside. Sure, you want to learn from the past, but what you did or used to be is less important than what you are now and where you are going. Take stock, establish your goals, then take a step. Then another and another and so on. Inch by inch, you are moving toward your best self and best situation. The journey will be hard and slow, but progress will be made no matter your aim. So, when life gets tough, and you think about what things used to be like, take stock of where you are right now, at this moment, and move forward. The past is in the past.
