You only have to watch one episode of the television show Alone on the History Channel to know that humans are social creatures. The premise of the show is that contestants take a handful of survival items such as a tarp, a knife, and a radio then are dropped off in the middle of the wilderness. Set in places such as British Columbia and Patagonia, the contestants are left to survive by themselves, miles from anyone. The last person left wins.
Sure, most people on the show are freezing and starving to death, but that’s not what takes them out of the game. The overwhelming majority quit because they cannot handle the isolation. People need other people. With that in mind, it’s important to understand that the people that surround us have a major impact on our bodily systems, particularly our brains. This can be both positive and negative.
Consider this; we have been affecting other people’s body systems our entire lives and vice versa, all without even realizing it. This includes everyone. Friends, family, strangers, acquaintances — everyone you encounter, no matter how small, the interaction all play a part in how we develop as humans. According to Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, an expert in psychology and neuroscience, everything we experience is actually rewiring microscopic parts of the neurons in our brains which is called plasticity.
Some people are more sensitive to these interactions than others, but everyone goes through these constant changes. According to Barrett, these changes have measurable effects such as synchronized breathing or mood. Examples can be seen between a mother and a child or even with participants of a meditation class. If someone is in physical or emotional distress, and empathetic person will often adjust to their companion without even realizing it. Even something as small as a change in expression can affect another person’s body and adjust chemical reactions within their bloodstream and other physiological systems. For example, all of us at one time or another have felt comfort from a hug.
This level of social connection has its advantages. Studies have shown that people are much more likely to overcome serious illness if they are surrounded and supported by friends, family, and even loving pets. In addition, the people with the greatest longevity almost always have very close connections with other people. Research has even shown that people with caring and responsive partners even seem to get sick less often.
Conversely, people who lack meaningful connections can decline and die prematurely from loneliness. Another downside to this innate connection is that we can pick up on the negative emotions of others. Humans actually regulate each other with words and actions. Just as a kind word can make you feel better, cruel words can cause your brain to anticipate a threat and initiate the body’s stress response. This response can, in turn, flood the body with stress hormones, thus depleting finite resources. A simple aggressive phrase in a conversation can actually affect your heart rate, breathing, and metabolism.
Barrett writes that the words we encounter have such intense effects on the human body because the brain regions that process language also control our physiological systems, including major organs and energy. They can adjust how glucose enters the bloodstream to provide energy and can change chemicals that affect the immune system. This occasional stress isn’t particularly harmful, as stress is simply part of being human; however, chronic over-stress can have very serious consequences. People that are subjected to regular physical and psychological abuse gradually decline and become ill. If our body’s resources are continually depleted through illness and stress hormone surges, our brains are unable to recover and become more susceptible to the negative effects of stress.
The bottom line is that humans are social, and we need each other. Our daily experiences and interactions have a profound effect on our minds and bodies. When we surround ourselves with positive people and experiences, we thrive. Conversely, when we surround ourselves with negative people, our brains and bodies are under a constant state of stress that literally eats away at us from the inside out, sometimes even leading to premature death. So, choose your friends wisely because, for better or for worse, they have a greater influence over you than you may realize.
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