“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter hurried away.” Benjamin Franklin

In a world of stress and uncertainty, now more than ever, we need to laugh good and strong. In honor of April Fool’s Day, here are a few amusing jokes, and some are so bad they become funny. And remember, laugh, and the world laughs with you, wallow in woe, and you wallow alone.
• The doctor said I needed to get some exercise, so I got a dog and named him Five Miles. Every afternoon I take the dog outside three times to do his business. Now when the doctor asks about my exercise routine, I can honestly say I walk Five Miles three times every afternoon.
• While crossing the street, a woman dropped her Scrabble set and the letters scattered across the street. A stranger walks by and asks, “What’s the word on the street?”
• For our 20th anniversary, my wife wanted me to treat her like I did when we were first dating. I got so excited. We had dinner, went to the movies, and I dropped her off at her parent’s house, and I went home and watched football.
• A woman holding a baby walks into a restaurant, and the hostess says, “That baby is so ugly, you need to sit in the back.” The woman takes her baby and sits at the very back of the restaurant, and starts crying. The waitress asks what’s wrong, and the young mother repeats what the hostess said. Looking really mad, the waitress says to the young mother, “Go tell the manager what she said, and I’ll hold your monkey.”
• Every day, my boss yells and calls me stupid. If I had a dollar for every time he called me stupid in one day; I would have $26.87.
• I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
• A guy tells his boss three companies were after him, and he needed a raise to stay at his job. The boss agrees to raise his pay10%. As the guy leaves the office, the boss asks, “What three companies were after you.” The guy responded, “The electric company, gas company, and the cable company.”
• What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.
• I got thrown out of the movies the other day for bringing something from home to eat. They threw me out so quickly I didn’t even get the chance to finish eating my sauerkraut and sausage.
• What did the buffalo say when his son left? “Bison.”
• eBay is useless — I searched for lighters, and all they had was 17,834 matches.
• Husband: “Your mother doesn’t like me.” Wife: “Why do you think that?” Husband: “Whenever she introduces me, she says, ‘This is my daughter’s first husband.’”
• If a woman asks if her new jeans make her look fat, never ever say the jeans are fine; you always look fat.
• What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.