**Warning**
What I am about to talk about is ugly. It’s scary, and it’s graphic. It’s not an easy subject to talk, or write about, but ignoring the issue, or pretending that it isn’t as bad, isn’t protecting innocent kids from one side of the world to the other.

What I am talking about is what is often referred to as child pornography. I don’t like that phrase though. The word pornography implies consent. And there is nothing consensual about the this. What I am talking about is child sexual abuse material (CSAM). The rape and torture of children, on video or in photos, to be disseminated for public consumption by pedophiles in the dark, and not-so-dark corners of the internet.

So, what can we do to help protect children from becoming victims of CSAM?

With so many school closures or partial closures kids are spending more time online, so it’s time to refresh what we all know about internet safety. I’m aiming these tips towards younger children since they are more likely to fall victim to, or be groomed for, CSAM. Obviously, how you handle your teenagers’ screen time and phone privacy is at your discretion.

Try to limit children having their phones, laptops, or tablets in their bedrooms. An internet connection gives your child access to adult content, and also allows others to contact your children through video game chats, social media apps, and chat rooms. Have your kids work or play near you, and if you are working, give your child or yourself headphones!

Always check your children’s devices, search history, what they are posting, as well as their emails, texts and social media direct messages daily.

Always have social media accounts turned to private and turn off location tracking. Also, on an iPhone, make sure you set your camera to NEVER allow your child’s location to be seen. To do this go to Settings>Privacy>Location Services (ON) >Camera set to NEVER.

Be on the lookout for signs your child might be a target of a predator. Some of those signs include, suddenly spending an inordinate amount of time online, finding pornography on their computer, making and receiving calls from numbers that are unsaved or you don’t know, receiving mail, gifts, or packages from someone you don’t know, suddenly withdrawing from family and friends, or quickly turning off the phone, monitor or screen when an adult enters the room, or if you find them using someone else’s online accounts.

Much like the ‘Birds and Bees’ talk, it’s also important to have ‘The Talk’ about internet safety. Here are some tips for having that talk from the Child Rescue Coalition and Jessica Bronner, a LMHC (licensed mental health counselor).

Start with stranger danger. Every parent knows their child best so Bronner says to gauge your child’s maturity level and how much you’d like to share. Start with, “We have to be careful of stranger danger in public, and you also have to be careful of strangers online.” Bronner adds that, “Parents don’t want to be doom and gloom, it’s not that everybody is bad, but kids have to be careful.”

What could someone do to me? This is a common question some kids might ask parents. Bronner says to respond this way; “Someone could find you and might hurt you, and it’s our job to protect you and keep you safe.” Always relate it back to a real-world experience. “If you were waiting for bus and someone came up to you, would you go with them? No. These people are still strangers even though they are online.”

Nothing is real on the internet. It’s important to emphasize to our kids that you don’t know who you are talking to on a game or an app. In real life if someone comes up to you and is a stranger, you can run away. Online you can’t see them, so they could be pretending to be anyone they want. And you can’t assume anything they say is real either. So, stay off any apps that connect to the internet unless you are with mom or dad.

Checking your devices is mandatory, get used to it. Bronner says, “I’m a big believer that you are allowed to look at your kids phone and history, there’s no privacy at all. Just like nothing is private on the internet, if they put it out there, it’s yours to read. Also, it’s important to emphasize that when we look at your phone or computer, you’re not in trouble, it’s not that we don’t believe you, but we don’t trust the other people.”

How do you explain consent or rape to child? This is a tough topic and not something to broach until your child is of the age to understand sex. But Bronner recommends removing the mysticism or stigma around our bodies and sex. “If your kid is approached in an innocent way by a friend who for example wants to give them a hug, it’s OK to give them the power to say I don’t like that. You own your body and you get to decide what happens. Only the doctor, with the permission of a parent can touch you in the privates during an exam or routine appointment. Empower kids that they own their body, and if anybody ever does touch them inappropriately, that it’s OK to tell someone about it. Those places aren’t dirty. The more you can open the dialogue with your children the better.”

It’s a tough world that we live in, so we need to do everything we can to protect the little ones and their innocence. Talk to your kids, monitor their online activity and keep communication open so YOU are the first person they come to if they are in trouble.