All of us want to be happy. In fact, every decision we make is directed at that goal, whether we realize it or not. Sometimes our actions are directly aimed at that purpose, such as when we do something nice for ourselves. Other times, our pursuit of happiness is indirect, such as when we do something nice for someone else. Ultimately, both of these routes are intended to give us joy.

In a study published in the April 2012 edition of Journal of Happiness Studies, which is a peer-reviewed forum on well-being, researchers from the Harvard School of Business and the University of British Columbia found that deeper and longer-lasting happiness comes from putting others before ourselves.

In this study, researchers asked 51 participants to recall their feelings when they spent money on themselves. Then they asked them to recall their feelings when they had spent money on someone else. Using these feelings, they then filled out a scale that measured happiness.

The participants were then given money that they could spend on themselves or give away. Their instructions were simply to do whatever made them the happiest. In addition, to prevent feelings of pressure to be generous, all decisions were anonymous.

The researchers discovered two things. The first was that people generally reported feeling happier when they recalled buying something for someone else than themselves regardless of the price of the gift. Second, the happier participants felt about giving to someone in the past, the more likely they were to do it again in the future. Researchers found that there was a positive loop between kindness toward others and happiness. The more positive an experience, the more likely it was to be repeated.

In another study, published in the June 2009 Journal of Emotion, researchers found that happiness was generally made up of life satisfaction, coping ability, and positive emotional experiences. The hypothesis was that positive emotions build lasting resources. In the study, researchers tracked the daily emotions of students for one month and measured life satisfaction and resilience at the beginning and end of the month.

The study showed that positive experiences increased resilience and life satisfaction and that positive “in-the-moment” emotions form the link between happiness and positive life outcomes. So our resilience and our ability to handle adversity affect how we view an experience, and thus, how happy we are. In general, happy people are more satisfied with life. Not because they feel better, but because they handle adversity more effectively.

Research has shown that the key to happiness is kindness and the ability to handle adversity. Life will most certainly throw us curveballs. It is how we deal with these curveballs; however, that defines us. We can choose to be jaded and self-centered, or we can choose to be grateful for our blessings and kind to others. In the end, how we view the world and our level of happiness is entirely up to us.