No, I am not talking about air, water, or pool filters. I mean the kind that runs interference between the crazy thoughts running through your head and what comes out of your mouth. I was recently at a staff retreat that included my supervisor and other management from my department. All very nice people I might add (just in case they’re reading this). Among the topics that were discussed was vulnerability and how courage is impossible without it.

Though I sat in the back, I was actually paying attention. The point of the discussion was that truly courageous things involve overcoming some level of fear. In my case, it has become my fear of saying or doing the wrong thing in certain situations, which seems to have only gotten worse as I’ve aged.

My issue is not like Tourette Syndrome, which is a very serious neurological disorder, characterized by tics, uncontrolled movements, and inappropriate vocalizations. People afflicted with this malady have no control over their situation. My issue is entirely my own fault and my own problem. My life is like the television show “The Office” and I am Steve Carell’s character, Michael Scott, where I have an irresistible urge to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

My friends seemed to have learned to live with my condition, and my wife is a complete saint for tolerating me after all of these years. It’s the type of thing where you’re having a conversation with your co-worker and then at the point a normal person would just stop talking, I don’t. My brain, the dysfunctional ring leader, feels compelled to add just a few more sentences to an otherwise normal conversation and pushes it from polite to awkward in three seconds flat. My mouth, the brakeman, actually falls asleep while on duty. Thus, a painfully laughable series of events ensues.

I’m usually with someone that I don’t know particularly well on a personal level. My boss, a co-worker I see once in a while, the CEO of the company. I used to think I had a gift for being able to speak to anyone. It didn’t matter how famous or powerful. I figured we all put our pants on one leg at a time. I was actually a pretty good salesperson once upon a time. Now, in my middle years, maybe I’ve lost some of that fearlessness. Perhaps I am now so hyper-aware of the possibility that I might embarrass myself that I actually do. A self-fulfilling prophecy if you will.

The one caveat to this whole thing is that it is funny. Somewhere, deep down, as painful as these experiences are, there is humor in all of this. Life is so short you should laugh as often as you can. Sure, there are up and downs in life. There are sadness and tragedy. There is almost always humor as well, however. Have you ever seen a comedy where nothing went wrong, and everything went according to plan? Of course not. People make mistakes. Sometimes, as in my case, they don’t know when to shut up. You can choose to be embarrassed, or you can recognize that it’s funny. So lighten up, laugh at yourself, and move on.