This week, on July 5, marks the 10th anniversary of when my beloved wife, Mary’s soul, left her body. Those ten years have been very sad and very difficult for me. In addition to her loss, I have suffered the loss of my father, my younger sister, my brother-in-law, and my first cousin, as well as several close friends. All of these losses illustrate all too well to me the fragility of life.

Mary’s loss has made me more sensitive. I find myself tearing up at songs or pieces of music or films that touch and move me. That was something that was almost unthinkable for me before ten years ago.

There isn’t a day that Mary is not in my thoughts, and paradoxically, these ten years have gone by rapidly but also very slowly. The terrible loneliness I have felt at times has almost been unbearable.

I especially miss her wise counsel. I always felt very safe with the decisions we made as a couple. I knew she would never recommend or approve anything that was risky or foolish. I find myself always thinking when I make decisions, “What would Mary think or do?’ and hope that the decisions I make would reflect her good sense and steadiness.

I especially could have used her consolation and support when the other terrible losses I suffered occurred over the past ten years. I know her love and sensitivity would have helped to sustain me through them.

Paraphrasing a little from lyrics from the song “Me and Bobby McGee,” I’d trade all of my tomorrows for just one more yesterday to be able to hold Mary again.

Mary loved flowers and the beauty of nature. I’m reminded that each spring, there are beautiful flowers everywhere, and their blooms bring us pleasure with their great beauty, but that beauty only lasts for a comparatively short time. Even though the beauty fades and disappears, our memories of that beauty are lasting; such is the case with my beautiful wife, Mary. I only had her and her wonderful love for only a painfully short period of time, but the memory of her beauty and beauty of spirit stays with me permanently. I will always remember that beauty and to me she will always remain forever young.

I loved her very dearly, truly and most sincerely. There was no one in this wide world I loved more than my darling Mary.

I will try and find some beautiful flowers and lay them on the grave of my truly lovely Mary, where she sleeps beneath the dew.

I will close with some lyrics from “Blue Eyes Crying the Rain” that I think really apply. “Someday when we meet up yonder, we will walk hand in hand again together.” I certainly hope that comes to pass.