In Part 1 of this article, I discussed the premise that everyone ultimately wants to be happy even if their actions don’t line up with this. Ultimately, everything we do, say, or even think is intended to produce an end result of happiness. Even self-destructive behavior is based on what we think will make us happy. The good folks at U.C. Berkley took a lot of the guesswork out of this pursuit of happiness by conducting a mountain of research and sifting through other research on the topic of happiness to bring us the top insights of 2023. Now for the remainder of those insights.
5. Ghosting hurts everyone involved. About one-third of all people in the United States have experienced ghosting at one time or another. For those of you born before 1972, this includes me; ghosting is when someone doesn’t respond to a call, text, or email. They’ve written you off and gone completely silent. It could be a “friend,” I’m talking about you, Steve, or a soon-to-be ex. In any case, lack of communication can be painful for the party being ignored and even cause symptoms of low self-esteem and depression in some instances. The interesting thing is that research has shown that ghosting also hurts the offending party. People who ghosted others also showed those same symptoms of low self-esteem and depression later, as it tends to harm relationships, especially in young adults.
6. We need to think about compassion differently. Let’s face it: caring about everything and everyone can sometimes feel exhausting. You might feel that you simply do not have one more ounce of emotional energy to give. The world is in chaos with wars, famine, elections, etc., and you just can’t afford to care about anything else and feel burned out. A study in Psychological Science, however, showed that feelings of compassion can actually lead to a greater feeling of compassion. It fuels itself! If we understand that compassion is unlimited, not finite, we are able to feel less fatigue about caring and helping others. So, instead of throwing in the towel, take a breath and hang in there. You have plenty more compassion to give to others.
7. Take care of your work buddies. The truth is that work is not really a family. We all get paid to do a job, and we can be friendly without actually being friends. Here’s the “but” — but we are all better off if we create a caring work environment. Researchers at Harvard University surveyed 1,200 employees about their work environment. The study found that employees who felt respected, recognized, treated fairly, and cared for at work were more productive one year later than those employees who did not feel cared for, ultimately showing that building a culture of respect and fairness pays big dividends.
8. Children benefit from grateful parents. Most parents these days are looking for any tip or hack to be better parents and damage their kids slightly less than they were. A study published earlier this year in Emotion by researchers Katherine Nelson-Coffey and John Coffey showed that parents who felt more gratitude, well-being, positivity, and empathy felt more closeness and less conflict with their children. This was regardless of how happy the parents felt on those days. Feelings of gratitude and nurturing have a ripple effect and are felt by your kids, which makes sense because if you are angry or feeling stressed, those around you, including your family, are likely to feel it as well.
9. Feeling awe makes kids more generous. As I’ve written in previous articles, feeling a sense of awe or wonder is very powerful. By feeling somewhat small and knowing that you are a part of something greater, you can develop a sense of peace. Everything is going to be OK and that no matter how badly you screw up, you won’t blow up the universe. Research backs this up. In fact, it shows that children who experience a sense of awe tend not only to be more at peace but also kinder to others. Experiments have shown that these children had greater parasympathetic nervous system activity — the rest and digest system — than children who experienced joy. Basically, feelings of awe encourage more compassionate kids than feelings of happiness. So, take your kids out to explore nature, teach them about music and art, and read them some good books. They’ll be kinder.
10. People aren’t becoming more unethical. Maybe you feel the world is going to hell in a handbasket, as my mother used to say. Yes, things are crazy, but they are always crazy in one form or another. Did I mention it’s an election year? We hear about shootings and car-jackings because we would have very little reason to watch mainstream media if they didn’t sensationalize every little thing on a 24/7 new cycle. Trust me, there are plenty of really good things going on as well. It just doesn’t make the news. All of this might lead you to believe that humans, as a species, are terrible and doomed to destroy themselves. Well, according to a new study published in Nature, there is no evidence that people are in a moral decline. We’re as good — or bad — as we’ve always been. Though we are bombarded by negativity on social media and the news and may feel people are getting worse, most of us are actually pretty decent.
