Dating violence is more common than you may think, especially among teens and young adults: 1 in 3 U.S. teens will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they’re in a relationship with before becoming adults. And nearly half (43%) of U.S. college women report experiencing violent or abusive dating behaviors. For parents and teens, being able to tell the difference between healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationships can be difficult. Although there are many signs to pay attention to in a relationship, look for these common warning signs of dating abuse:
• Checking cell phones, emails or social media without permission
• Extreme jealousy or insecurity
• Constant belittling or put-downs
• Explosive temper
• Isolation from family and friends
• Making false accusations
• Erratic mood swings
• Physically inflicting pain or hurt in any way
• Possessiveness
• Telling someone what to do
• Repeatedly pressuring someone to have sex
If you see any of these signs, please make sure that you talk with your child about it immediately. It is important that teens understand that this behavior is not OK and that they don’t have to accept it.
According to loveisresepct.org, the 2024 for Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM) is “Love Like That.” Selected by the love is respect Youth Council, “Love Like That,” illuminates what “that” means regarding healthy and unhealthy relationships. We know that love is more than a feeling; no matter how you define it, it’s essential to ensure you’re on the same page with your partner about the definitions and boundaries of your relationship. Teens and young adults express their love for one another in many ways, which differ from person to person or community. All expressions of love are valid. However, the essential aspect of “Love Like That” calls on us all to create a world of positive actions to express and show healthy love in various ways.
A relationship should never be filled with jealousy, or a lack of trust. You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty or like your thoughts, ideas or feelings don’t matter.
They should certainly never be violent, disrespectful, or degrading.
Remember, relationships are supposed to be fun, and make you happy!
Never ignore a gut feeling. If you suspect your teen or a teen you know is involved in an abusive relationship, step in now.
Teens should also understand that having disagreements with a partner isn’t uncommon, but the key is how you react to the disagreements. Knowing how to resolve conflict in a healthy way is something that will serve teens well today and in adulthood.
Setting boundaries, getting to the real issues, agreeing to disagree, compromise — are all part of healthy communication.
And sometimes realizing that a relationship has run its course and is no longer working, is also important.
Consider Everything. Is this issue really important? Does it change how the two of you feel about each other? Are you compromising your beliefs or morals? If yes, it’s important that you really stress your position. If not, maybe this is a time for compromise. Also, consider your partner’s arguments. Why are they upset? What does the issue look like from their point of view? It is unusual for your partner to get this upset? Does your partner usually compromise? Are you being inconsiderate?
If none of this is working, it may be time to let a relationship go.
These were meant to be signs and tips for teens dating, but let’s face it—these pretty much apply to relationships as a whole regardless of age.
Remember if you need help in a relationship there are sources available. Parents, teachers, school counselors and the YWCA are all great resources.
