Let’s start with a basic premise — all of us want to be happy. Everything every person on the planet does is with the intention of making them happy. We may be misguided, and what we seek might not actually make us happy, but the intention is to make us happy. People search for things such as wealth, material possessions, the ultimate career, and even the love of a partner, but ultimately, none of those things can make us happy. If you truly want to be happy, however, you must first be grateful. You read that correctly. To be happy, be grateful, not the other way around.

OK, this seems backward. We’ve established that we all want to be happy. No kidding, but what does gratitude have to do with actually being happy? Sure, it looks good on a cheap sign in a home decorating store along with “Live, Laugh, Love” and “Home Is Where the Heart Is,” but could happiness be so easily found by simply being grateful?

Brother David Steindl-Rast, an Austrian-American Benedictine monk and interfaith scholar, proposes that to be happy, one must first be grateful, and to be grateful, we must change our traditional way of thinking. It is not simply ignoring that bad things happen in the world or “faking it until we make it,” so to speak.

First, we need to think of every single moment as a gift. As something that we were given without being earned.

Then, think of every moment as an opportunity. An opportunity for what? For experiencing or doing anything. Yes, bad things will happen for which we are not going to be grateful. People become ill, accidents happen, and we may experience cruelty. We cannot be grateful for everything, but we can be grateful for the opportunity of the moment, of possibility.

Here’s the problem: We live in a world where life is speeding up. Moments come and go faster and faster. We have work, obligations, and places to be. We go, go, go, and we miss all the moments that makeup life. We are not grateful for things like food, water, air, time spent with a friend, etc. We are busy rushing through life until, eventually, it comes near the end, and we are likely filled with regret for these missed opportunities.

To fix this, Brother Steindl-Rast says that we need to go back to when we were children when we first learned to cross the street and do three things: Stop, Listen, and Go.

Stop – To stop is to break life into every little moment. To savor and appreciate the many little things, along with the occasional big event. If you are reading this article, you are obviously alive. You have the ability to read, so you are educated. You very likely have shelter, food, clean water, and electricity. You have these gifts, but more importantly, you have moments — opportunities to experience.

Listen – The next step in fostering gratitude is listening. Be quiet. “Listen” with all of your senses. What is going on around you? Even with all the negative things happening in the world, life is extremely rich and full of amazing things. Take it in. Experience the miracle of nature. Spend time catching up with a friend. Savor the smell and taste of a good cup of coffee. Pay attention to all of the opportunities that are presented to you. Opportunities to serve others, to understand, to truly “listen” to the world.

Go – The last step in Brother Steindl-Rast’s attitude of gratitude is to go. To go is to act. It may be simple, such as experiencing the joy of watching a Little League game or a truly great pint of beer. It could also be something difficult, such as fighting for civil rights or working to end poverty. To go is to seize the opportunity and do something with the gift we have been given. While life is made up of many moments/opportunities, they are finite in number, and I encourage you not to squander them.