Every New Year, millions of people, myself included, make a list of goals they want to accomplish in the coming year. Topping the list are favorites such as weight loss, getting into shape, being more assertive, saving more money, and starting a home business. Unfortunately, most people are not successful in reaching their target goals. In fact, many don’t even get started.

There are many reasons that New Year’s resolutions fail, but most often, it is because the goals are unobtainable and that they are too overwhelming. In addition, people often fail to realize their New Year’s resolutions because their goals are too vague, making them much easier to quit.

So, does this mean that you shouldn’t even bother trying to improve yourself in the new year? Absolutely not! It simply means stop setting massive goals at the beginning of every year, failing, then repeating the following year. It is the wrong approach. Also, repetitive failure such as this can lead to feelings of stress, inadequacy, and in some cases, even depression.

Instead, break the cycle by cleaning house. Begin by stopping certain activities that are holding you back. This can be a sort of an anti-resolution. For example, if you think that being in shape will make you happier, start by quitting tobacco, eating less food in general, and drinking less alcohol. If you want to be less stressed, stop overbooking your schedule. Just do less. We weren’t meant to be constantly moving or constantly engaged. Sometimes we just need a moment of quiet and to be still. Turn off the TV, stay off social media, tell the kids they’re staying home, and just be.

Matt Valentine, the author of the blog buddhaimonia.com, advises making changes in your life rather than starting something new.

1. Stop letting things go without speaking up. It’s not about being aggressive but being assertive. Work to communicate your wants and needs effectively, and you’ll be surprised at how understanding most people can be.

2. Stop saying yes to everyone. Sometimes saying no can mean that you are able to do more for the people you care most about. It will also allow you to take better care of yourself and keep from getting spread too thin.

3. Stop living on social media. Live in the real world and be present. Often, we get so tied up in showing everyone how great our lives are by posting online that we forget to actually live our lives.

4. Stop making excuses. One excuse can lead to another and another. Instead, take responsibility and make meaningful changes. You’ll be a happier, stronger person in the long run.

5. Stop procrastinating. If something is important, set a date and do it. If the goal was unrealistic, change it to something more achievable.

Maybe we don’t need to set any goals at all or even make any changes. Maybe we simply have to be kinder to ourselves and accept ourselves for who we are right now. Don’t stress yourself out this year by setting the same monster goals you set every year but never achieve. Instead, make a real effort to make meaningful changes on a daily basis that will improve your life and make you a better person. Self-improvement is not just goal setting but also about actually living and enjoying life.