It is very common to get to a point in your life where you stop and realize you have no idea how you have gotten there — metaphorically speaking. I certainly know I have. You are ambitious and have a plan for your career, family, and life in general. It might happen slowly, or you might not even recognize it’s happening at all, but, eventually, you find that you have veered from your path. Sometimes life leads us to unexpected yet wonderful things, but sometimes the chaos of everyday living simply gets in the way of our happiness.

Having gotten to know hundreds, if not thousands, of people throughout my career in the fitness and wellness fields, I have witnessed this scenario play out over and over. Driven, educated men and women get to a point in life, usually in their early forties, and realize this isn’t what they wanted. They love their spouses and children, are grateful to have work that pays well, but realize they simply aren’t happy. They are doing all of the things that are expected of them such as working long hours at a mind-numbing job, taking care of household chores, and logging more hours than a taxi driver by running the kids to their activities. After a while, however, many people wake up and realize that they have forgotten what they wanted and how to take care of themselves.

Some of us react to this epiphany by having a mid-life crisis and buy a sports car or take up skydiving (I still might take up skydiving), but a lucky few might actually take steps to get their lives back on track toward happiness and fulfilling some or all of their dreams. At first, it might seem selfish to want something more than a spouse, children, a nice house, and a job that pays the bills. Isn’t this the American Dream, after all?

Think about it. How could we possibly be fit to take care of the ones we love if we don’t take time to take care of ourselves? If we are not happy and healthy, how could possibly make someone else truly happy? The answer is, we can’t. No matter how creative or skilled we are at creating a smiling facade, those that know us best will see right through it. Sure we might fool our friends and family. In fact, we might even fool ourselves for a while, but eventually, everyone figures out that we are living a lie.

This can end in one of three ways. 1.) We continue life as a husk. Numbing ourselves with food and TV, and waiting to die. Knowing that we never lived up to our potential. 2.) We grow resentful, blaming others for holding us back and eventually destroy everything we’ve built through a self-fulfilling prophecy of passive aggressiveness and anger. or 3.) The last possible outcome of this mid-life void is to get off of our butts and do something about it!

I am here to tell you that for the sake of your children, your partner, and your own sanity, you can and must choose the third option. It is not only possible for you to get your act back together and get on the path of finding your true happiness and follow your dreams; it is your responsibility.