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If Laughter is the Best Medicine, Why are There Drug Stores?

April Fools Day may be over, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a good laugh!

In honor of this day of fools here are a few of my favorite jokes.

Some are good, some bad, however, the important thing is to laugh today and every day.
* Doctor: “You have a hernia.” Old man: “I want a second opinion.” Doctor: “You have one awful haircut.”
* Times New Roman and Verdana walk into a bar and the bartender yells at them “Get out! We don’t serve your type here.”
* Received an overdue bill in the mail marked “Final Notice.” So glad that’s over with!
* Last year my dog swallowed a bunch of Scrabble pieces. The following day he started leaving me little messages around the house.
* The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
* The main reason a child has a middle name is to let them know they are in big, big trouble. “Jeffrey Allen! Did you lick the icing off all the cupcakes? Again!”
* Did you hear about the joke where all the idiots say no?
* My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got so bad I had to take away his bike.
* This morning, my financial adviser told me that I need to start planning ahead. So I ordered a pizza for tonight’s dinner.
* When it comes to equality women will never be equal to men until they have a beer gut and a bald head, yet still think they are sexy.
* Husband to his wife: “I never said you were fat, I just said you were more noticeable.”
* The boss yelled at me for being late five times. I was like “Excellent! It must be Friday!”
* Money can’t buy happiness it’s true, but what it can buy I can use.
* What do you call a bull that likes to nap? A bulldozer.
* When in doubt mumble.
* Why is it that breakfast in bed is romantic, but lunch in bed is considered lazy?
* If I had a dollar every time my boss called me stupid this week, I would have $7.31.
* What’s the difference between outlaws and in-laws? Outlaws are wanted.

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